1 00:00:01,044 --> 00:00:04,221 [music playing] 2 00:01:47,629 --> 00:01:49,326 ASSISTANT SECRETARY: Your name, please? 3 00:01:49,370 --> 00:01:52,808 FRENCHMAN: Raymond [inaudible] [speaking french] 4 00:01:52,851 --> 00:01:54,462 ASSISTANT SECRETARY: Have you any special wishes? 5 00:01:54,505 --> 00:01:56,507 FRENCHMAN: [speaking french] 6 00:01:56,551 --> 00:01:57,856 ASSISTANT SECRETARY: Forgetfulness. 7 00:01:57,900 --> 00:01:59,815 That's what most of them ask for. 8 00:01:59,858 --> 00:02:00,859 Granted. 9 00:02:00,903 --> 00:02:02,644 Next, please. 10 00:02:02,687 --> 00:02:03,732 Your name? 11 00:02:03,775 --> 00:02:09,216 CHINESE MAN: [speaking chinese] 12 00:02:09,259 --> 00:02:10,521 ASSISTANT SECRETARY: What do you want? 13 00:02:10,565 --> 00:02:13,742 CHINESE MAN: [speaking chinese] 14 00:02:13,785 --> 00:02:15,178 ASSISTANT SECRETARY: Love and peace. 15 00:02:15,222 --> 00:02:16,397 Granted. 16 00:02:16,440 --> 00:02:17,615 Next, please. 17 00:02:17,659 --> 00:02:18,964 MAXWELL: And who may you be? 18 00:02:19,008 --> 00:02:20,140 ASSISTANT SECRETARY: Assistant secretary 19 00:02:20,183 --> 00:02:21,837 to the lower admission office. 20 00:02:21,880 --> 00:02:22,881 MAXWELL: Oh. 21 00:02:22,925 --> 00:02:23,882 ASSISTANT SECRETARY: Your name? 22 00:02:23,926 --> 00:02:24,666 MAXWELL: Maxwell Bard, sir. 23 00:02:24,709 --> 00:02:25,623 I'm British. 24 00:02:25,667 --> 00:02:26,929 Do you mind? 25 00:02:26,972 --> 00:02:28,887 But I've lived for years in California. 26 00:02:28,931 --> 00:02:30,280 ASSISTANT SECRETARY: Your wish? 27 00:02:30,324 --> 00:02:32,021 MAXWELL: Well, I'd like to watch some friends 28 00:02:32,064 --> 00:02:33,631 for the next 24 hours. 29 00:02:33,675 --> 00:02:34,719 ASSISTANT SECRETARY: What? 30 00:02:34,763 --> 00:02:36,460 Look at Earth again? 31 00:02:36,504 --> 00:02:37,374 But why? 32 00:02:37,418 --> 00:02:38,419 MAXWELL: Uh. 33 00:02:38,462 --> 00:02:39,898 May I answer that in private? 34 00:02:39,942 --> 00:02:41,639 ASSISTANT SECRETARY: There are no secrets here. 35 00:02:41,683 --> 00:02:43,859 MAXWELL: It's all rather embarrassing. 36 00:02:43,902 --> 00:02:45,817 May I whisper, sir? 37 00:02:45,861 --> 00:02:48,255 ASSISTANT SECRETARY: If it makes you feel better. 38 00:02:48,298 --> 00:02:51,214 MAXWELL: Well, my three closest friends are three married 39 00:02:51,258 --> 00:02:53,738 couples in San Francisco. 40 00:02:53,782 --> 00:02:57,220 You see, the husbands were so completely convinced-- 41 00:02:57,264 --> 00:03:00,615 [laughter] 42 00:03:07,230 --> 00:03:10,581 [music playing] 43 00:03:21,201 --> 00:03:22,550 JANE: How long do you think you'll be? 44 00:03:22,593 --> 00:03:23,768 I wouldn't know. 45 00:03:23,812 --> 00:03:25,292 How long does it take to read a will? 46 00:03:25,335 --> 00:03:26,336 I don't think it's funny. 47 00:03:26,380 --> 00:03:27,424 I wasn't asked to come along. 48 00:03:27,468 --> 00:03:28,947 I wonder why? -It's obvious. 49 00:03:28,991 --> 00:03:30,122 He didn't leave you any money. 50 00:03:30,166 --> 00:03:31,123 I was just as good a friend of his 51 00:03:31,167 --> 00:03:32,647 as-- oh, it isn't the money. 52 00:03:32,690 --> 00:03:34,170 You know I never think of that. 53 00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:35,171 Why should you? 54 00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:36,738 Haven't you a good husband? 55 00:03:36,781 --> 00:03:39,523 Don't I always give you everything your heart desires? 56 00:03:39,567 --> 00:03:40,916 Where are you going now? 57 00:03:40,959 --> 00:03:42,787 Well, I thought I'd try to turn in my seats 58 00:03:42,831 --> 00:03:43,745 to the symphony concert. 59 00:03:43,788 --> 00:03:44,746 Poor girl. 60 00:03:44,789 --> 00:03:46,617 You do miss Max, don't you? 61 00:03:46,661 --> 00:03:47,923 See if you can swap your matinee seats 62 00:03:47,966 --> 00:03:48,880 for a pair for the evening. 63 00:03:48,924 --> 00:03:50,621 I'll go with you. 64 00:03:50,665 --> 00:03:52,928 Arthur Evans, you haven't been to a symphony concert in years. 65 00:03:52,971 --> 00:03:56,018 Yeah, what kind of husband are you? 66 00:03:56,061 --> 00:03:58,020 You also expecting to inherit a fortune? 67 00:03:58,063 --> 00:03:58,803 Why shouldn't he? 68 00:03:58,847 --> 00:03:59,935 Next of kin. 69 00:03:59,978 --> 00:04:01,241 My mother thinks we will. Me? 70 00:04:01,284 --> 00:04:02,285 I never expect anything. 71 00:04:02,329 --> 00:04:03,286 Saves a lot of disappointment. 72 00:04:03,330 --> 00:04:04,505 -You smart boy. -You coming? 73 00:04:04,548 --> 00:04:05,375 Better go ahead. 74 00:04:05,419 --> 00:04:06,507 I'll see you upstairs. 75 00:04:06,550 --> 00:04:07,464 So long, Jane. 76 00:04:07,508 --> 00:04:08,291 Bye. 77 00:04:08,335 --> 00:04:10,511 Wait just a second. 78 00:04:10,554 --> 00:04:11,294 Flowers? 79 00:04:11,338 --> 00:04:12,295 Please. 80 00:04:12,339 --> 00:04:14,210 Thank you. 81 00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:14,993 Here. 82 00:04:15,037 --> 00:04:15,864 Cheer you up. 83 00:04:15,907 --> 00:04:17,518 Oh. 84 00:04:17,561 --> 00:04:19,737 You know, sometimes you're awfully sweet-- for a husband. 85 00:04:29,051 --> 00:04:30,313 Good afternoon, Mr. Evans. 86 00:04:30,357 --> 00:04:31,532 Good afternoon, Ms. Reynolds. 87 00:04:31,575 --> 00:04:32,924 Would you please wait in the library? 88 00:04:32,968 --> 00:04:34,143 I'll tell Mr. Wurdeman you're here. 89 00:04:34,186 --> 00:04:34,839 Thank you. 90 00:04:39,801 --> 00:04:41,019 ARTHUR: Oh, hello, Dan. 91 00:04:41,063 --> 00:04:42,499 DAN: Hi, Art. 92 00:04:42,543 --> 00:04:44,327 Well, I didn't know I was going to see you here. 93 00:04:44,371 --> 00:04:46,111 And neither did I. I'd rather be over at the track. 94 00:04:46,155 --> 00:04:47,896 Hey, what's all this about, anyway? 95 00:04:47,939 --> 00:04:48,679 The will, I imagine. 96 00:04:48,723 --> 00:04:49,854 That's my guess. 97 00:04:49,898 --> 00:04:51,378 Then what's it got to do with me? 98 00:04:51,421 --> 00:04:54,511 It ain't like I'm a relation or a business associate. 99 00:04:54,555 --> 00:04:56,034 Hey, maybe it's not the will. 100 00:04:56,078 --> 00:04:57,297 Then what could it be? 101 00:05:00,648 --> 00:05:02,432 Mr. Wurdeman will see you first, Mr. Evans. 102 00:05:05,957 --> 00:05:06,697 Hello, Edward. 103 00:05:06,741 --> 00:05:07,742 Come in, Arthur. 104 00:05:07,785 --> 00:05:08,656 Sit down. 105 00:05:08,699 --> 00:05:09,744 Thank you. 106 00:05:09,787 --> 00:05:11,311 Sorry I kept you waiting so long. 107 00:05:11,354 --> 00:05:12,312 Not at all. 108 00:05:12,355 --> 00:05:14,531 It's been one of those days. 109 00:05:14,575 --> 00:05:16,751 Funerals always upset my schedule. 110 00:05:16,794 --> 00:05:18,318 You ought to hold those things in the evening. 111 00:05:18,361 --> 00:05:19,057 [buzz] 112 00:05:19,971 --> 00:05:20,929 Excuse me a minute. 113 00:05:20,972 --> 00:05:22,278 Yes, Mary? 114 00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:24,976 Well, I can't talk to Mrs. Wurdeman now. 115 00:05:25,020 --> 00:05:26,326 MRS. WURDEMAN [ON PHONE]: Hello, Edward. 116 00:05:26,369 --> 00:05:27,631 Hello, dear. 117 00:05:27,675 --> 00:05:28,632 MRS. WURDEMAN [ON PHONE]: We're not going 118 00:05:28,676 --> 00:05:29,720 dinner on such short notice. 119 00:05:29,764 --> 00:05:30,895 Help yourself to a cigar, Arthur. 120 00:05:30,939 --> 00:05:32,157 ARTHUR: I shouldn't. -Yes, dear. 121 00:05:32,201 --> 00:05:33,376 I'm listening. 122 00:05:33,420 --> 00:05:34,638 ARTHUR: Have to be careful, you know. 123 00:05:34,682 --> 00:05:36,379 Makes you stop and think, doesn't it? 124 00:05:36,423 --> 00:05:38,599 A man like Max, in the prime of life, passing on so suddenly. 125 00:05:38,642 --> 00:05:39,904 Well, there's nothing sudden about it. 126 00:05:39,948 --> 00:05:41,253 Max knew he was going to die. 127 00:05:41,297 --> 00:05:42,037 Then it was his heart. 128 00:05:42,080 --> 00:05:43,081 Yes, his heart. 129 00:05:43,125 --> 00:05:44,431 I mean, yes, sweetheart. 130 00:05:44,474 --> 00:05:46,302 You never thought it from the way he lived. 131 00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:47,564 Why, the last time I saw Max-- 132 00:05:47,608 --> 00:05:48,391 Yes, dear. 133 00:05:48,435 --> 00:05:49,740 I promise. 134 00:05:49,784 --> 00:05:51,220 I'll stop at the supermarket on the way home. 135 00:05:51,263 --> 00:05:52,613 There you are. 136 00:05:52,656 --> 00:05:53,918 What's this? 137 00:05:53,962 --> 00:05:55,703 Max left that for you. 138 00:05:55,746 --> 00:05:57,400 ARTHUR: But I thought the will was to be read. 139 00:05:57,444 --> 00:05:58,662 Isn't that why he-- -Tomorrow. 140 00:05:58,706 --> 00:05:59,837 I'll let you know the time. 141 00:05:59,881 --> 00:06:00,708 [MRS. WURDEMAN CHATTERS ON PHONE] 142 00:06:10,021 --> 00:06:13,329 [music playing] 143 00:06:22,860 --> 00:06:23,861 Yes, dear. 144 00:06:23,905 --> 00:06:25,210 I hear you. I'll remember. 145 00:06:25,254 --> 00:06:25,950 MRS. WURDEMAN [ON PHONE]: Goodbye, Edward. 146 00:06:25,994 --> 00:06:26,995 Bye. 147 00:06:27,038 --> 00:06:28,388 You know what's in this letter? 148 00:06:28,431 --> 00:06:30,041 No. 149 00:06:30,085 --> 00:06:32,130 As executor, I was simply instructed to hand it to you. 150 00:06:32,174 --> 00:06:32,914 Not bad news, I hope. 151 00:06:32,957 --> 00:06:33,697 Oh, no, no. 152 00:06:33,741 --> 00:06:34,785 Nothing like that. 153 00:06:34,829 --> 00:06:35,830 Just about the business. 154 00:06:35,873 --> 00:06:37,048 Well, I'd better be getting off. 155 00:06:37,092 --> 00:06:38,267 Working man, you know. 156 00:06:38,310 --> 00:06:39,660 I'll call you about the will. 157 00:06:39,703 --> 00:06:40,835 Yes, the will. Oh, yes. 158 00:06:40,878 --> 00:06:41,618 Certainly. 159 00:06:41,662 --> 00:06:43,359 Well, bye. 160 00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:45,840 Bye, Arthur. 161 00:06:45,883 --> 00:06:46,841 So long, fellas. 162 00:06:46,884 --> 00:06:47,842 DAN: So long, Art. 163 00:06:47,885 --> 00:06:48,538 KENNETH: So long. 164 00:06:51,019 --> 00:06:52,020 Must be good news. 165 00:06:52,063 --> 00:06:53,804 Kenneth. 166 00:06:53,848 --> 00:06:54,979 Won't be too long, Dan. 167 00:06:55,023 --> 00:06:56,981 OK. 168 00:06:57,025 --> 00:06:57,982 Good afternoon, Ms. Reynolds. 169 00:06:58,026 --> 00:06:59,419 Good afternoon, Mr. Evans. 170 00:07:19,351 --> 00:07:20,222 MALE SPEAKER: Going down. 171 00:07:52,559 --> 00:07:54,038 DAN [LAUGHING]: That Max. 172 00:07:54,082 --> 00:07:55,997 What a guy. 173 00:07:56,040 --> 00:07:58,129 Imagine him pulling a gag like this 174 00:07:58,173 --> 00:07:59,261 even on the day of his funeral. 175 00:07:59,304 --> 00:08:00,088 Gag? 176 00:08:00,131 --> 00:08:01,089 Sure. 177 00:08:01,132 --> 00:08:02,743 I got a nose for it. 178 00:08:02,786 --> 00:08:04,484 I can smell a gag 10 miles away, and that's what this is. 179 00:08:04,527 --> 00:08:05,920 And I'll tell you something else, Edward-- 180 00:08:05,963 --> 00:08:07,356 You already told me everything else. 181 00:08:07,399 --> 00:08:08,662 OK, so I'm wasting your time. 182 00:08:08,705 --> 00:08:09,663 Bill me. 183 00:08:09,706 --> 00:08:11,708 I can afford even your fees. 184 00:08:11,752 --> 00:08:13,057 You don't think it's funny, huh? 185 00:08:13,101 --> 00:08:14,363 Well-- 186 00:08:14,406 --> 00:08:15,669 Ah, you didn't know Max the way I did. 187 00:08:15,712 --> 00:08:17,409 I admire your sporting spirit. 188 00:08:17,453 --> 00:08:19,107 Now you're talking, Edward. 189 00:08:19,150 --> 00:08:22,023 A natural-born sport, that's me, and a great sense of humor. 190 00:08:22,066 --> 00:08:24,634 That'll pull you through anything. 191 00:08:24,678 --> 00:08:27,376 OK, I won't waste anymore of your valuable time. 192 00:08:27,419 --> 00:08:28,769 I gotta see a man about a horse. 193 00:08:28,812 --> 00:08:29,813 A bookie. 194 00:08:29,857 --> 00:08:31,336 EDWARD: You forgot something. 195 00:08:31,380 --> 00:08:32,294 What? 196 00:08:32,337 --> 00:08:33,948 Oh, yeah. 197 00:08:33,991 --> 00:08:35,297 I gotta show this to somebody. 198 00:08:35,340 --> 00:08:36,124 EDWARD: Who? 199 00:08:36,167 --> 00:08:37,386 My wife. 200 00:08:37,429 --> 00:08:38,953 She'd get a great kick out of this. 201 00:08:38,996 --> 00:08:40,389 My Lucille's got an even better sense of humor than me. 202 00:08:52,227 --> 00:08:53,881 What's the matter, Kenny? 203 00:08:53,924 --> 00:08:55,796 Bad news? 204 00:08:55,839 --> 00:08:57,145 OK. 205 00:08:57,188 --> 00:08:58,015 None of my business. 206 00:08:58,059 --> 00:08:59,016 Wait a minute, Joe. 207 00:09:01,802 --> 00:09:04,239 Read that. 208 00:09:04,282 --> 00:09:05,196 Dear Kenneth, [mumbles]. 209 00:09:11,638 --> 00:09:15,293 Your wife and I-- [whistles]. 210 00:09:15,337 --> 00:09:17,818 What would you do if somebody said that about your wife? 211 00:09:17,861 --> 00:09:18,688 My wife? 212 00:09:18,732 --> 00:09:19,602 Impossible. 213 00:09:19,646 --> 00:09:20,516 Why? 214 00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:21,822 She ain't got the time. 215 00:09:21,865 --> 00:09:23,650 You know what I'd do if I was you? 216 00:09:23,693 --> 00:09:26,348 I'd beat the living bejeebers out of a guy like that. 217 00:09:26,391 --> 00:09:27,131 Wish I could. 218 00:09:27,175 --> 00:09:27,915 Well why can't you? 219 00:09:27,958 --> 00:09:29,046 A big guy like you? 220 00:09:29,090 --> 00:09:30,570 It's not that. 221 00:09:30,613 --> 00:09:32,267 Well, suppose he's small, or suppose he's weaker. 222 00:09:32,310 --> 00:09:33,877 He deserves it, don't he? -I can't. 223 00:09:33,921 --> 00:09:34,965 Well now, why can't you? 224 00:09:35,009 --> 00:09:36,184 Just answer me that. Why not? 225 00:09:36,227 --> 00:09:37,402 He's dead. 226 00:09:37,446 --> 00:09:38,752 Well, but look what he done to you. 227 00:09:38,795 --> 00:09:39,491 Dead? 228 00:09:43,626 --> 00:09:46,368 Well, in that case, there's only one thing you can do now. 229 00:09:46,411 --> 00:09:47,761 What? 230 00:09:47,804 --> 00:09:50,024 There was another party involved, wasn't there? 231 00:09:50,067 --> 00:09:51,721 Oh, I don't beat women. 232 00:09:51,765 --> 00:09:54,332 Oh, neither do I. Only when it's necessary. 233 00:09:57,335 --> 00:10:00,643 [music playing] 234 00:10:13,264 --> 00:10:14,701 Jane! 235 00:10:14,744 --> 00:10:16,746 Good afternoon, Mr. Evans. 236 00:10:16,790 --> 00:10:17,660 Isn't Mrs. Evans here? 237 00:10:17,704 --> 00:10:18,705 No, sir. 238 00:10:18,748 --> 00:10:19,575 Didn't you give her my message? 239 00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:20,794 She didn't call. 240 00:10:20,837 --> 00:10:22,056 You sure you don't know where she is? 241 00:10:22,099 --> 00:10:23,144 She usually tells you, doesn't she? 242 00:10:23,187 --> 00:10:24,362 -She didn't today. -Why not? 243 00:10:24,406 --> 00:10:25,668 Suppose one of the children got sick. 244 00:10:25,712 --> 00:10:26,538 What would you do? 245 00:10:26,582 --> 00:10:28,279 I'd phone the doctor. 246 00:10:28,323 --> 00:10:30,281 Haven't you any idea where she might be? 247 00:10:30,325 --> 00:10:32,327 Well, usually Fridays-- 248 00:10:32,370 --> 00:10:34,111 Go on. 249 00:10:34,155 --> 00:10:37,419 She went to the symphony concert with poor Mr. Max. 250 00:10:37,462 --> 00:10:39,160 Why do you talk about him all the time? 251 00:10:39,203 --> 00:10:41,684 Oh, I'm so sorry, Mr. Evans. 252 00:10:41,728 --> 00:10:44,818 I know how badly you must feel about poor Mr. Ma-- 253 00:10:44,861 --> 00:10:46,471 Don't mention that name again! 254 00:11:14,412 --> 00:11:15,152 ARTHUR: No, no. 255 00:11:15,196 --> 00:11:16,588 It's not possible. 256 00:11:16,632 --> 00:11:19,330 MAXWELL: Why are you so smug? 257 00:11:19,374 --> 00:11:21,463 You have a very attractive wife. 258 00:11:21,506 --> 00:11:22,682 It can't be. 259 00:11:22,725 --> 00:11:25,772 MAXWELL: Are you afraid to remember? 260 00:11:25,815 --> 00:11:28,470 Think about it. 261 00:11:28,513 --> 00:11:31,995 Think back. 262 00:11:32,039 --> 00:11:33,867 [memory harp] 263 00:11:38,915 --> 00:11:41,396 Arthur, I have a feeling I've caught you bluffing. 264 00:11:41,439 --> 00:11:43,093 ARTHUR: What makes you think so? 265 00:11:43,137 --> 00:11:44,965 You know, you ought never to try to conceal your feelings. 266 00:11:45,008 --> 00:11:47,794 You haven't got a poker face. 267 00:11:47,837 --> 00:11:49,360 You know what I'm going to do? 268 00:11:49,404 --> 00:11:50,579 I'm going to raise you again. 269 00:12:01,198 --> 00:12:02,069 [laughing] 270 00:12:03,810 --> 00:12:05,463 ARTHUR: You might give us a look for our investment. 271 00:12:05,507 --> 00:12:06,508 MAXWELL: Not on your life. 272 00:12:06,551 --> 00:12:08,162 [phone ringing] 273 00:12:08,205 --> 00:12:10,077 MAXWELL: Two things one mustn't be reckless about-- poker 274 00:12:10,120 --> 00:12:11,034 and women. 275 00:12:11,078 --> 00:12:11,905 ARTHUR: You ought to know. 276 00:12:11,948 --> 00:12:13,210 You're lucky with both. 277 00:12:13,254 --> 00:12:14,342 Well. 278 00:12:14,385 --> 00:12:16,083 Deal me out of this, will you? 279 00:12:16,126 --> 00:12:17,345 Hello? 280 00:12:17,388 --> 00:12:18,955 Oh, hello, my dear. 281 00:12:18,999 --> 00:12:20,478 DAN: Hey, Max, is she pretty? 282 00:12:20,522 --> 00:12:21,305 Of course she's pretty. 283 00:12:21,349 --> 00:12:22,524 What do you think? 284 00:12:22,567 --> 00:12:24,482 Well, it's true, isn't it? 285 00:12:24,526 --> 00:12:26,006 You had a nice day? Mm. 286 00:12:26,049 --> 00:12:27,050 Well, tell me about it. 287 00:12:27,094 --> 00:12:28,399 DAN: She's married. -Uh-huh. 288 00:12:28,443 --> 00:12:29,574 EDWARD: Well, I'm warning you, you know. 289 00:12:29,618 --> 00:12:30,227 A man giving himself an awful lot of-- 290 00:12:30,271 --> 00:12:31,098 Oh no. 291 00:12:31,141 --> 00:12:32,490 KENNETH: Come on, Eddie. 292 00:12:32,534 --> 00:12:33,535 DAN: Hey, Max, see if she's got a friend. 293 00:12:33,578 --> 00:12:34,710 Tall and skinny with good legs. 294 00:12:34,754 --> 00:12:35,798 [GIGGLING] Yes. 295 00:12:35,842 --> 00:12:36,625 Yes. 296 00:12:36,668 --> 00:12:37,669 DAN: She married? 297 00:12:37,713 --> 00:12:38,758 EDWARD: She wants to live alone. 298 00:12:38,801 --> 00:12:39,759 DAN: You got a phone number? 299 00:12:39,802 --> 00:12:40,716 KENNETH: What do you think? 300 00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:42,022 DAN: I'll toss you for it. 301 00:12:42,065 --> 00:12:42,979 Don't risk your money. 302 00:12:43,023 --> 00:12:43,806 He's bragging. 303 00:12:43,850 --> 00:12:45,199 Sorry, darling. 304 00:12:45,242 --> 00:12:46,243 What? Disturbing me? 305 00:12:46,287 --> 00:12:47,941 No. 306 00:12:47,984 --> 00:12:49,507 On the country, you're rescuing me from a bunch of [YELLING] 307 00:12:49,551 --> 00:12:50,421 second-hand Romeos. 308 00:12:50,465 --> 00:12:51,205 GUYS: Oh! 309 00:12:51,248 --> 00:12:51,901 Hey! 310 00:12:54,425 --> 00:12:56,297 DAN: The facts of life. 311 00:12:56,340 --> 00:12:58,168 Now don't you be so smug, boys. 312 00:12:58,212 --> 00:13:00,388 There's plenty I could teach you cut-rate Casanovas. 313 00:13:00,431 --> 00:13:01,781 [laughing] 314 00:13:01,824 --> 00:13:03,173 Did you hear that? 315 00:13:03,217 --> 00:13:04,044 Hm? 316 00:13:04,087 --> 00:13:04,871 Yes, yes. 317 00:13:04,914 --> 00:13:05,785 Of course I will. 318 00:13:05,828 --> 00:13:06,786 All right. 319 00:13:06,829 --> 00:13:07,525 Thank you for calling, now. 320 00:13:07,569 --> 00:13:09,832 Goodbye. 321 00:13:09,876 --> 00:13:11,573 ARTHUR: Why do you suppose he's never gotten married? 322 00:13:11,616 --> 00:13:13,009 DAN: The fact that he don't like dames. 323 00:13:13,053 --> 00:13:14,663 MAXWELL: You're absolutely right, old boy. 324 00:13:14,706 --> 00:13:16,578 I like women far too much ever to make wives of them. 325 00:13:16,621 --> 00:13:18,101 ARTHUR: What's wrong with wives? 326 00:13:18,145 --> 00:13:18,928 MAXWELL: Husbands. 327 00:13:18,972 --> 00:13:19,668 [groan] 328 00:13:20,843 --> 00:13:21,626 MAXWELL: Another drink? 329 00:13:21,670 --> 00:13:22,410 KENNETH: Not for me. 330 00:13:22,453 --> 00:13:23,280 I gotta go home. 331 00:13:23,324 --> 00:13:24,281 DAN: Let's break it up. 332 00:13:24,325 --> 00:13:25,239 MAXWELL: Oh, it's early yet. 333 00:13:25,282 --> 00:13:26,675 KENNETH: It's after 2:00. 334 00:13:26,718 --> 00:13:27,807 DAN: He's gotta punch a time clock when he goes home. 335 00:13:27,850 --> 00:13:28,808 KENNETH: I wish I did. 336 00:13:28,851 --> 00:13:30,157 Mary's on night duty. 337 00:13:30,200 --> 00:13:31,854 EDWARD: Why didn't I marry a trained nurse? 338 00:13:31,898 --> 00:13:33,725 KENNETH: You ever tried going home to an empty apartment? 339 00:13:33,769 --> 00:13:35,510 DAN: At least you don't have to lie when you get in late. 340 00:13:35,553 --> 00:13:36,728 MAXWELL: Gentlemen, I beg of you. 341 00:13:36,772 --> 00:13:38,382 Marriage is a sacred institution. 342 00:13:38,426 --> 00:13:40,036 ARTHUR: I agree with you. 343 00:13:40,080 --> 00:13:41,995 Jane and I never found it necessary to lie to each other. 344 00:13:42,038 --> 00:13:42,865 DAN: Hey, Art. 345 00:13:42,909 --> 00:13:44,606 What do you do for fun? 346 00:13:44,649 --> 00:13:45,868 EDWARD: I mean, did you ever tell her just one little lie? 347 00:13:45,912 --> 00:13:47,565 DAN: He studied honor at Harvard. 348 00:13:47,609 --> 00:13:49,045 MAXWELL: Sorry, Arthur, no nightcap for you. 349 00:13:49,089 --> 00:13:51,091 Jane just said to remember your stomach. 350 00:13:51,134 --> 00:13:51,918 ARTHUR: Oh, was that Jane? 351 00:13:51,961 --> 00:13:53,702 Look, Max. 352 00:13:53,745 --> 00:13:55,399 I want to talk to you before I leave about those new posters. 353 00:13:55,443 --> 00:13:57,314 Oh, but aren't you going to ask me why your wife should ring 354 00:13:57,358 --> 00:13:58,968 me up at this time of night? 355 00:13:59,012 --> 00:14:00,665 To tell you the latest bright things of your godchildren 356 00:14:00,709 --> 00:14:03,451 or that Mozart is being played on station KXXY. 357 00:14:03,494 --> 00:14:05,757 You underestimate your wife's emotional quality. 358 00:14:05,801 --> 00:14:06,976 Jane is a very sentimental woman. 359 00:14:07,020 --> 00:14:08,673 Well, what did she want? 360 00:14:08,717 --> 00:14:09,979 To remind you to take your pills. 361 00:14:10,023 --> 00:14:10,893 [laughter] 362 00:14:10,937 --> 00:14:11,763 MAXWELL: Truly. 363 00:14:11,807 --> 00:14:13,026 That's Jane for you. 364 00:14:13,069 --> 00:14:14,636 She's happiest when we were all tucked 365 00:14:14,679 --> 00:14:16,899 in bed at 8:30 with hot milk. 366 00:14:16,943 --> 00:14:18,335 Come off it, Arthur. 367 00:14:18,379 --> 00:14:19,946 You love going to bed at 8:30 with hot milk. 368 00:14:19,989 --> 00:14:21,469 You seem to forget that I'm in the office 369 00:14:21,512 --> 00:14:22,818 every morning at 9:00. [phone ringing] 370 00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:24,341 MAXWELL: Uh-oh. 371 00:14:24,385 --> 00:14:25,865 DAN: I'll take odds on whose wife it is this time. 372 00:14:25,908 --> 00:14:27,692 EDWARD: Tell her I left 20 minutes ago, will you? 373 00:14:27,736 --> 00:14:31,131 ARTHUR: Wait, I'll ride down with you. 374 00:14:31,174 --> 00:14:31,958 How'd you make out? 375 00:14:32,001 --> 00:14:32,784 EDWARD: Pretty good. 376 00:14:32,828 --> 00:14:34,047 Hello? 377 00:14:34,090 --> 00:14:35,091 Uh, no, dear. 378 00:14:35,135 --> 00:14:37,224 He hasn't been here all evening. 379 00:14:37,267 --> 00:14:38,790 Well, I would know where he is. 380 00:14:38,834 --> 00:14:40,575 Oh, he's probably with a woman. 381 00:14:40,618 --> 00:14:43,186 That'll put her-- oh, Arthur, I really will try to come and see 382 00:14:43,230 --> 00:14:44,144 you tomorrow in the office. 383 00:14:44,187 --> 00:14:45,623 ARTHUR: You'd better, Max. 384 00:14:45,667 --> 00:14:47,190 We're way behind schedule on that new design. 385 00:14:47,234 --> 00:14:49,801 Well, if he's not home with you in 10 minutes time, 386 00:14:49,845 --> 00:14:51,586 you ring me up and I'll come along and console you. 387 00:14:51,629 --> 00:14:52,848 What do you say, hm? 388 00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:53,631 All right, dear. 389 00:14:53,675 --> 00:14:54,806 Good night. 390 00:14:54,850 --> 00:14:55,938 I'm glad you reminded me, Arthur. 391 00:14:55,982 --> 00:14:57,984 I've got just the artist for you. 392 00:14:58,027 --> 00:15:01,117 Meet us at 5 o'clock tomorrow, Guglielmo's Bar. 393 00:15:01,161 --> 00:15:02,075 ARTHUR: I'll be there. 394 00:15:02,118 --> 00:15:04,077 GUYS: Good night, Max. 395 00:15:04,120 --> 00:15:05,948 MAXWELL: And this is Matilda Clegg, 396 00:15:05,992 --> 00:15:08,255 but she signs herself just Matilda. 397 00:15:08,298 --> 00:15:10,126 Very chic nowadays in her profession. 398 00:15:10,170 --> 00:15:10,953 Oh, Max. 399 00:15:10,997 --> 00:15:11,736 How do you do? 400 00:15:11,780 --> 00:15:13,390 How do you do? 401 00:15:13,434 --> 00:15:15,305 Well, I never thought that Max's artist would be like you. 402 00:15:15,349 --> 00:15:17,568 Well, that's very conventional. 403 00:15:17,612 --> 00:15:20,441 Does an artist have to wear smocks and have untidy hair? 404 00:15:20,484 --> 00:15:22,791 Oh, I'm not conventional. 405 00:15:22,834 --> 00:15:25,185 It's just that you were such a pleasant surprise. 406 00:15:25,228 --> 00:15:26,534 You're very polite. 407 00:15:26,577 --> 00:15:28,057 He's the Sir Lancelot of the suburbs. 408 00:15:28,101 --> 00:15:30,320 Oh, let's not pay any attention to him. 409 00:15:30,364 --> 00:15:32,540 My dear, I wouldn't like you to misunderstand Arthur. 410 00:15:32,583 --> 00:15:34,281 He's interested in you as an artist. 411 00:15:34,324 --> 00:15:36,370 She's very good, too, in spite of her appearance. 412 00:15:36,413 --> 00:15:37,458 Oh, I like her appearance. 413 00:15:37,501 --> 00:15:40,156 She's-- she's-- she's very nice. 414 00:15:40,200 --> 00:15:41,592 Very? 415 00:15:41,636 --> 00:15:43,159 Ah, now don't you let yourself be taken in. 416 00:15:43,203 --> 00:15:44,682 She likes to drink with her gloves 417 00:15:44,726 --> 00:15:46,771 on because it makes her feel like an adventuress. 418 00:15:46,815 --> 00:15:47,555 Isn't he wicked? 419 00:15:47,598 --> 00:15:48,730 [awkward laughter] 420 00:15:50,166 --> 00:15:52,603 Joking apart, though, she is clever. 421 00:15:52,647 --> 00:15:53,996 And she does need the work. 422 00:15:54,040 --> 00:15:55,215 I have a feeding she'd make a first-rate job 423 00:15:55,258 --> 00:15:55,998 of those posters. 424 00:15:56,042 --> 00:15:57,826 I'm sure she would. 425 00:15:57,869 --> 00:16:00,307 Thank you. 426 00:16:00,350 --> 00:16:03,049 Would you like me to leave now, or shall we 427 00:16:03,092 --> 00:16:04,702 discuss the project? 428 00:16:04,746 --> 00:16:06,008 We might do that over dinner. 429 00:16:06,052 --> 00:16:07,531 I'll go and see what ole Guglielmo's got 430 00:16:07,575 --> 00:16:11,013 in his refrigerator, shall I? 431 00:16:11,057 --> 00:16:14,712 Well, um, tell me about your work. 432 00:16:14,756 --> 00:16:16,714 Oh, there isn't much to tell, really. 433 00:16:16,758 --> 00:16:18,412 Max thinks differently. 434 00:16:18,455 --> 00:16:19,848 I'd love to show you my drawings. 435 00:16:19,891 --> 00:16:20,675 I'd love to see them. 436 00:16:20,718 --> 00:16:21,458 When? 437 00:16:21,502 --> 00:16:22,677 Whenever you'd like. 438 00:16:22,720 --> 00:16:25,027 The sooner, the better. 439 00:16:25,071 --> 00:16:27,769 My studio's not far from here-- North Beach. 440 00:16:27,812 --> 00:16:28,900 Well that's right on my way home. 441 00:16:28,944 --> 00:16:30,815 Perhaps I could take you there. 442 00:16:30,859 --> 00:16:31,599 Tonight? 443 00:16:31,642 --> 00:16:34,384 Why not? 444 00:16:34,428 --> 00:16:35,864 Excuse me, will you? 445 00:16:35,907 --> 00:16:37,997 Oh, Arthur, I congratulate you. 446 00:16:38,040 --> 00:16:39,737 You've succeeded in getting her to take 447 00:16:39,781 --> 00:16:43,176 off one glove, which is further than she's ever gone with me. 448 00:16:43,219 --> 00:16:45,569 Do you know that Guglielmo has found some small squab chickens 449 00:16:45,613 --> 00:16:48,050 even tenderer than Matilda. 450 00:16:48,094 --> 00:16:50,009 Let's get Jane to join us, shall we? 451 00:16:50,052 --> 00:16:51,184 -Uh, well-- -I'll call her. 452 00:16:51,227 --> 00:16:52,054 Oh, no, no, no. 453 00:16:52,098 --> 00:16:53,751 I'll take care of it. 454 00:16:53,795 --> 00:16:54,622 Excuse me. 455 00:16:59,105 --> 00:16:59,975 I'm dying. 456 00:17:00,019 --> 00:17:01,716 I'm just dying. 457 00:17:01,759 --> 00:17:03,500 My dear, control yourself, will you? 458 00:17:03,544 --> 00:17:05,981 The purpose of this meeting was purely professional. 459 00:17:06,025 --> 00:17:07,330 He looks wistful. 460 00:17:07,374 --> 00:17:09,332 Is he very unhappy? 461 00:17:09,376 --> 00:17:12,074 Matilda, when you feel one of these sentimental, romantic 462 00:17:12,118 --> 00:17:14,120 urges coming on, why don't you take 463 00:17:14,163 --> 00:17:15,817 up an old bachelor like me? 464 00:17:15,860 --> 00:17:16,992 I never take up. 465 00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:17,819 Oh, sorry. 466 00:17:17,862 --> 00:17:20,126 I'm very sincere. 467 00:17:20,169 --> 00:17:22,476 That's why I don't fall in love with you, Max. 468 00:17:22,519 --> 00:17:23,694 Frivolous men don't touch me. 469 00:17:23,738 --> 00:17:25,174 Too bad. 470 00:17:25,218 --> 00:17:26,697 Would you like to see a picture of my godchildren? 471 00:17:26,741 --> 00:17:27,568 No. 472 00:17:27,611 --> 00:17:29,309 Aren't they handsome? 473 00:17:29,352 --> 00:17:34,270 You know, Jane's their mother, and she's also Arthur's wife. 474 00:17:34,314 --> 00:17:36,098 They've been married for nine years, 475 00:17:36,142 --> 00:17:40,233 and they have never told each other a lie. 476 00:17:40,276 --> 00:17:44,628 Why do you carry another man's wife in your wallet, Max? 477 00:17:44,672 --> 00:17:46,108 Oh, is Jane coming? 478 00:17:46,152 --> 00:17:47,762 She's very sorry, but it's the maid's night out 479 00:17:47,805 --> 00:17:49,242 and there's no one to stay with the children. 480 00:17:49,285 --> 00:17:50,112 Aw, too bad. 481 00:17:50,156 --> 00:17:51,766 Poor things. 482 00:17:51,809 --> 00:17:52,984 That means you'll have to go back and keep her company, 483 00:17:53,028 --> 00:17:54,290 won't it? Well, never mind. 484 00:17:54,334 --> 00:17:55,509 Another time. 485 00:17:55,552 --> 00:17:57,815 One more squab chicken for us, eh? 486 00:17:57,859 --> 00:17:59,556 Oh, I'm so sorry, darling. 487 00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:02,820 I neglected to tell you I have another date 488 00:18:02,864 --> 00:18:03,517 Oh. 489 00:18:19,707 --> 00:18:21,317 JANE: Good morning, dear. 490 00:18:21,361 --> 00:18:25,452 I hate to do this to you, but it's later than you think. 491 00:18:25,495 --> 00:18:26,975 Oh, no you don't. 492 00:18:27,018 --> 00:18:27,758 [smack] 493 00:18:27,802 --> 00:18:29,195 Ow! 494 00:18:29,238 --> 00:18:30,587 I've already let you sleep the absolute limit. 495 00:18:30,631 --> 00:18:31,501 Come on, now. 496 00:18:31,545 --> 00:18:32,937 Up you go. 497 00:18:32,981 --> 00:18:33,721 Hey! 498 00:18:33,764 --> 00:18:34,548 Open up. 499 00:18:34,591 --> 00:18:35,679 How many fingers, huh? 500 00:18:35,723 --> 00:18:36,593 Six. 501 00:18:36,637 --> 00:18:38,029 Oh, darling. 502 00:18:38,073 --> 00:18:39,814 Bad hangover? 503 00:18:39,857 --> 00:18:40,597 Late conference. 504 00:18:40,641 --> 00:18:41,772 Ah, ah, ah. 505 00:18:41,816 --> 00:18:43,078 Please, dear. 506 00:18:43,122 --> 00:18:44,297 We've never lied to each other before. 507 00:18:44,340 --> 00:18:46,037 Let's not start now. 508 00:18:46,081 --> 00:18:47,691 There. 509 00:18:47,735 --> 00:18:51,956 Max called me up and told me everything. 510 00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:53,784 Well, I can see from your face you 511 00:18:53,828 --> 00:18:56,091 have a very guilty conscience. 512 00:18:56,135 --> 00:18:56,874 Come on, dear. 513 00:18:56,918 --> 00:18:57,832 Take your pill. 514 00:18:57,875 --> 00:18:59,486 You'll feel a lot better. 515 00:18:59,529 --> 00:19:01,966 How much did you lose? 516 00:19:02,010 --> 00:19:03,011 Well, for heaven's sake. 517 00:19:03,054 --> 00:19:03,881 Excuse me. 518 00:19:03,925 --> 00:19:05,448 You are in bad shape. 519 00:19:05,492 --> 00:19:07,450 What's the matter with you, anyway? 520 00:19:07,494 --> 00:19:08,973 Are you so in love with that game 521 00:19:09,017 --> 00:19:12,629 you have to play poker two nights in succession? 522 00:19:12,673 --> 00:19:16,067 [sighs] Not that I blame you, playing with Max. 523 00:19:16,111 --> 00:19:17,504 He's such fun. 524 00:19:17,547 --> 00:19:20,724 Is that, uh, all he told you? 525 00:19:20,768 --> 00:19:22,378 -Oh, what else is there to tell? -Oh! 526 00:19:22,422 --> 00:19:23,379 Nothing. [mumble] 527 00:19:23,423 --> 00:19:26,556 Ohh, so you did lose. 528 00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:28,732 I didn't lose at all. 529 00:19:28,776 --> 00:19:31,561 As a matter of fact, I won. 530 00:19:31,605 --> 00:19:33,346 Won! 531 00:19:33,389 --> 00:19:36,871 And I'm going to take my best girl out on my winnings. 532 00:19:36,914 --> 00:19:38,568 We'll have lunch at the Palace. 533 00:19:38,612 --> 00:19:40,004 Lunch? 534 00:19:40,048 --> 00:19:41,310 Oh, darling! 535 00:19:41,354 --> 00:19:44,574 I think I may get to like this game. 536 00:19:44,618 --> 00:19:46,489 Oh. 537 00:19:46,533 --> 00:19:48,448 Oh, I'm sorry, dear, but I can't go. 538 00:19:48,491 --> 00:19:49,275 Why not? 539 00:19:49,318 --> 00:19:50,276 Today's Friday. 540 00:19:50,319 --> 00:19:51,102 Friday? 541 00:19:51,146 --> 00:19:52,452 Symphony. 542 00:19:52,495 --> 00:19:53,235 Oh, yes. 543 00:19:53,279 --> 00:19:54,802 That's right. 544 00:19:54,845 --> 00:19:59,676 You know how Max loathes being late for the symphony. 545 00:19:59,720 --> 00:20:01,112 So you're going with him, huh? 546 00:20:01,156 --> 00:20:03,898 Uh-huh. 547 00:20:03,941 --> 00:20:04,986 Do you mind? 548 00:20:05,029 --> 00:20:06,553 Why should I? 549 00:20:06,596 --> 00:20:08,729 You know Max's reputation. 550 00:20:08,772 --> 00:20:10,948 He doesn't feel that way about you. 551 00:20:10,992 --> 00:20:12,123 Doesn't he? 552 00:20:12,167 --> 00:20:13,212 He values you for your intellect. 553 00:20:19,261 --> 00:20:21,437 My, uh, intellect, hm? 554 00:20:30,794 --> 00:20:33,536 [music playing] 555 00:20:35,625 --> 00:20:37,627 [speaking french] 556 00:23:06,472 --> 00:23:07,908 Just wonderful wasn't it? 557 00:23:07,951 --> 00:23:10,084 Wonderful. 558 00:23:10,127 --> 00:23:11,259 [sigh] 559 00:23:11,302 --> 00:23:12,303 You'd certainly never see anything 560 00:23:12,347 --> 00:23:13,783 like that in an American film. 561 00:23:17,439 --> 00:23:18,397 Arthur? 562 00:23:18,440 --> 00:23:20,877 The cheapest mascara. 563 00:23:20,921 --> 00:23:21,878 Arthur! 564 00:23:21,922 --> 00:23:23,402 Wha-- 565 00:23:23,445 --> 00:23:25,404 The French are so emotional. 566 00:23:25,447 --> 00:23:26,405 Well, shall we go? 567 00:23:26,448 --> 00:23:27,841 And miss the cartoon? 568 00:23:27,884 --> 00:23:29,364 Aren't we getting home? 569 00:23:29,408 --> 00:23:30,887 What are you worried about? 570 00:23:30,931 --> 00:23:32,846 Arthur striding up and down, eating his heart out? 571 00:23:32,889 --> 00:23:34,717 Well, he could surprise me. 572 00:23:37,633 --> 00:23:39,113 It's called "Love in the Blood." 573 00:23:39,156 --> 00:23:40,331 It's a French picture. 574 00:23:40,375 --> 00:23:41,594 They talk French in it, but it tells 575 00:23:41,637 --> 00:23:43,465 you underneath what it means. 576 00:23:43,509 --> 00:23:45,598 Even if it didn't, you'd understand it all right. 577 00:23:45,641 --> 00:23:48,905 And this guy is absolutely sensational. 578 00:23:48,949 --> 00:23:52,605 He's a kind of romantic type, but with muscles, you know? 579 00:23:52,648 --> 00:23:54,302 There's a scene in it that's so terrific. 580 00:23:54,345 --> 00:23:59,176 He grabs this girl and he says, mon amour, je t'adore. 581 00:23:59,220 --> 00:24:00,482 Je t'adore. 582 00:24:00,526 --> 00:24:02,136 [fake french] 583 00:24:02,179 --> 00:24:03,485 I tell you, I got chills. 584 00:24:03,529 --> 00:24:06,009 The girl was good, too. 585 00:24:06,053 --> 00:24:07,402 What did she say? 586 00:24:07,446 --> 00:24:10,144 She said, oui, mon amour. 587 00:24:10,187 --> 00:24:11,537 She'd had a lot of trouble in the picture. 588 00:24:11,580 --> 00:24:13,974 I tell you, I've seen it three times already, 589 00:24:14,017 --> 00:24:16,019 and every time I bawl like a baby. 590 00:24:16,063 --> 00:24:17,064 You ought to see it, Jane. 591 00:24:17,107 --> 00:24:18,021 You would love it. 592 00:24:18,065 --> 00:24:19,414 You would really love it. 593 00:24:19,458 --> 00:24:20,763 I know I would. 594 00:24:20,807 --> 00:24:22,983 -You ought to take her sometime. -Oh, I will. 595 00:24:23,026 --> 00:24:24,332 I-- I certainly will. 596 00:24:24,375 --> 00:24:26,116 LUCILLE: Gee, I'd like to learn French. 597 00:24:26,160 --> 00:24:27,683 I got an idea they don't translate 598 00:24:27,727 --> 00:24:29,206 some of the best parts. 599 00:24:29,250 --> 00:24:30,556 MAXWELL: That's absolutely right. 600 00:24:30,599 --> 00:24:31,644 I could teach you French. 601 00:24:31,687 --> 00:24:32,906 LUCILLE: Would you, Max? 602 00:24:32,949 --> 00:24:34,298 MAXWELL: I'd be delighted, of course. 603 00:24:34,342 --> 00:24:35,778 LUCILLE: Oh George, have you got any beer? 604 00:24:35,822 --> 00:24:36,649 Yes, ma'am. 605 00:24:36,692 --> 00:24:37,606 How do you like that? 606 00:24:37,650 --> 00:24:38,433 They serve champagne. 607 00:24:38,477 --> 00:24:39,869 My wife wants beer. 608 00:24:39,913 --> 00:24:41,131 I happen to like beer. 609 00:24:41,175 --> 00:24:42,916 So do I. Draw two, George, will you? 610 00:24:42,959 --> 00:24:43,873 Yes, sir. 611 00:24:43,917 --> 00:24:44,874 Oh, just a minute, please. 612 00:24:49,270 --> 00:24:49,923 [wolf whistle] 613 00:24:51,490 --> 00:24:52,882 MAXWELL: Come in, darling. 614 00:24:52,926 --> 00:24:54,057 Dear Max. 615 00:24:54,101 --> 00:24:54,841 Ah. 616 00:24:54,884 --> 00:24:57,321 Dear Matilda. 617 00:24:57,365 --> 00:24:59,106 How nice it all looks. 618 00:24:59,149 --> 00:25:00,977 Well how nice of you to say so. 619 00:25:05,591 --> 00:25:08,898 Now this, everybody, is Ms. Matilda Clegg, our young-- 620 00:25:08,942 --> 00:25:11,205 Mary seems to be enjoying herself. 621 00:25:11,248 --> 00:25:13,120 Why shouldn't she, mother? 622 00:25:13,163 --> 00:25:15,209 I didn't know she was so fond of music. 623 00:25:22,346 --> 00:25:25,219 I could listen to a piano handle all night. 624 00:25:25,262 --> 00:25:26,829 Too bad your husband doesn't play. 625 00:25:26,873 --> 00:25:27,613 Oh. 626 00:25:27,656 --> 00:25:28,788 But he can dance. 627 00:25:28,831 --> 00:25:29,702 Do you mind if I steal her? 628 00:25:29,745 --> 00:25:30,964 Uh, no. 629 00:25:31,007 --> 00:25:32,269 I'll-- I'll finish the accompaniment. 630 00:25:32,313 --> 00:25:35,055 Thanks. 631 00:25:35,098 --> 00:25:37,797 And this is a great friend of mine, Jane Evans. 632 00:25:37,840 --> 00:25:38,841 How do you do? 633 00:25:38,885 --> 00:25:41,017 Her husband, I think, you know. 634 00:25:41,061 --> 00:25:42,497 This is an unexpected pleasure. 635 00:25:42,541 --> 00:25:44,586 JANE: I've heard so much about you. 636 00:25:44,630 --> 00:25:45,892 About me? 637 00:25:45,935 --> 00:25:48,242 My husband's simply mad about your work. 638 00:25:48,285 --> 00:25:50,810 As a matter of fact, so am I. Your posters 639 00:25:50,853 --> 00:25:52,376 are simply magnificent. 640 00:25:52,420 --> 00:25:53,726 Thank you. 641 00:25:53,769 --> 00:25:55,205 Haven't I seen you somewhere, Mrs. Evans? 642 00:25:55,249 --> 00:25:59,079 A spot of caviar, don't you think? 643 00:25:59,122 --> 00:26:03,474 You'll have to watch your step, my pretty. 644 00:26:03,518 --> 00:26:04,867 I'm dying. 645 00:26:04,911 --> 00:26:06,608 Well, I've heard you die so often I can't believe 646 00:26:06,652 --> 00:26:07,914 it can be serious this time. 647 00:26:07,957 --> 00:26:09,306 You think you're so subtle having 648 00:26:09,350 --> 00:26:10,743 us both to your silly party. 649 00:26:10,786 --> 00:26:12,701 I'm not going to be influenced, I assure you. 650 00:26:12,745 --> 00:26:13,615 That's an imported dress. 651 00:26:13,659 --> 00:26:15,225 It must have cost $200. 652 00:26:15,269 --> 00:26:17,010 No wonder he's always worrying about money. 653 00:26:17,053 --> 00:26:18,751 You don't seem to realize we're both sincere. 654 00:26:18,794 --> 00:26:20,448 My dear, if you could just manage-- you see, 655 00:26:20,491 --> 00:26:22,145 I'm not really very bright. 656 00:26:22,189 --> 00:26:23,625 If you could manage to have your remarks follow each other in 657 00:26:23,669 --> 00:26:25,105 some sort of logical sequence-- 658 00:26:25,148 --> 00:26:26,628 I know why you did it. 659 00:26:26,672 --> 00:26:29,022 To show me the good wife whose life I'm destroying. 660 00:26:29,065 --> 00:26:30,632 What about my life? 661 00:26:30,676 --> 00:26:31,807 Your life? 662 00:26:31,851 --> 00:26:32,982 Well, a minute ago you were dying. 663 00:26:33,026 --> 00:26:34,462 Poor little Matilda. 664 00:26:34,505 --> 00:26:35,463 Don't pity me. 665 00:26:35,506 --> 00:26:37,160 It's glorious to love. 666 00:26:37,204 --> 00:26:38,553 Glorious to love? 667 00:26:38,597 --> 00:26:40,337 Haven't I heard that remark before somewhere? 668 00:26:40,381 --> 00:26:41,643 In a French movie? 669 00:26:41,687 --> 00:26:43,079 I think I hate you. 670 00:26:43,123 --> 00:26:44,994 Oh, I'm sorry, because I like you very much. 671 00:26:45,038 --> 00:26:46,213 You hate me. 672 00:26:46,256 --> 00:26:47,649 If you liked me sincerely you'd have 673 00:26:47,693 --> 00:26:48,868 some sympathy instead of treating 674 00:26:48,911 --> 00:26:49,695 me like a home wrecker. 675 00:26:49,738 --> 00:26:51,348 A home wrecker? 676 00:26:51,392 --> 00:26:52,741 Well, anybody would think you had a guilty conscience. 677 00:26:52,785 --> 00:26:54,482 I've always treated you like a naughty child, 678 00:26:54,525 --> 00:26:56,049 which is exactly what you are. 679 00:26:56,092 --> 00:26:57,833 I've done nothing to be ashamed of. 680 00:26:57,877 --> 00:26:59,530 Can I help it if I'm in love? 681 00:26:59,574 --> 00:27:01,141 Oh, I thought it was something serious. 682 00:27:01,184 --> 00:27:02,969 Now, there is somebody that I would like you to meet. 683 00:27:03,012 --> 00:27:03,926 He's a composer. 684 00:27:03,970 --> 00:27:05,449 He's just back from Paris. 685 00:27:05,493 --> 00:27:07,887 He's talented, and what's more, he's unattached. 686 00:27:07,930 --> 00:27:10,411 He's that handsome young man at the piano. 687 00:27:10,454 --> 00:27:12,108 That infant? 688 00:27:12,152 --> 00:27:15,677 Really, I never thought you'd do anything so obvious, Max. 689 00:27:15,721 --> 00:27:18,549 [chatter] 690 00:27:20,290 --> 00:27:21,552 MAXWELL: Janie, do you think the moment 691 00:27:21,596 --> 00:27:22,771 has come for our silly number? 692 00:27:22,815 --> 00:27:24,468 JANE: Do you think they can stand it? 693 00:27:24,512 --> 00:27:25,513 MAXWELL: Who cares about them? 694 00:27:25,556 --> 00:27:26,601 We enjoy ourselves, don't we? 695 00:27:26,645 --> 00:27:28,168 To the piano, everybody! 696 00:27:28,211 --> 00:27:30,344 FEMALE SPEAKER: He can't sing a note, but he's a dear. 697 00:27:33,347 --> 00:27:35,697 MAXWELL: I heard that. 698 00:27:35,741 --> 00:27:37,090 Anything wrong? 699 00:27:37,133 --> 00:27:38,831 Oh, darling, I'm in despair. 700 00:27:38,874 --> 00:27:40,006 Please, Matilda. 701 00:27:40,049 --> 00:27:41,355 Indiscretion will get us nowhere. 702 00:27:41,398 --> 00:27:42,878 Where are we now? 703 00:27:42,922 --> 00:27:45,315 Hiding in corners, sneaking down side streets, 704 00:27:45,359 --> 00:27:47,448 as if I were ashamed of loving you. 705 00:27:47,491 --> 00:27:50,016 And this-- this is the last straw. 706 00:27:50,059 --> 00:27:51,539 [MUSIC - HERSCHEL BURKE GILBERT, "POOR CHAP"] 707 00:27:51,582 --> 00:27:55,021 [SINGING] A husband brought two tickets home 708 00:27:55,064 --> 00:27:57,501 to take his wife to "Tosca." 709 00:27:57,545 --> 00:28:07,381 I found a note which told him a-- 710 00:28:07,424 --> 00:28:08,512 Quote? 711 00:28:08,556 --> 00:28:11,820 I'm out with your friend Oscar. 712 00:28:11,864 --> 00:28:14,388 Oscar! 713 00:28:14,431 --> 00:28:15,215 Oscar? 714 00:28:15,258 --> 00:28:15,998 Oscar. 715 00:28:16,042 --> 00:28:17,521 Unquote. 716 00:28:17,565 --> 00:28:19,436 MAXWELL AND JANE: Poor chap. 717 00:28:19,480 --> 00:28:21,003 Poor chap. 718 00:28:21,047 --> 00:28:23,963 This party-- I'm sure he just gave it to humiliate me. 719 00:28:24,006 --> 00:28:25,138 Don't be absurd. 720 00:28:25,181 --> 00:28:26,748 Max has a birthday every year. 721 00:28:26,792 --> 00:28:28,358 He always throws a party. 722 00:28:28,402 --> 00:28:30,317 Men can be so cruel and blind. 723 00:28:30,360 --> 00:28:32,406 Why must you always exaggerate? 724 00:28:32,449 --> 00:28:34,147 I'm only flesh and blood. 725 00:28:34,190 --> 00:28:35,844 There's a limit to my endurance. 726 00:28:35,888 --> 00:28:38,064 I can't go on like this any longer. 727 00:28:38,107 --> 00:28:39,630 You've got to decide now. 728 00:28:39,674 --> 00:28:41,154 Tonight. 729 00:28:41,197 --> 00:28:44,635 Oh, darling, I don't care if we never go to Paris. 730 00:28:44,679 --> 00:28:46,812 I don't have to live on the Left Bank. 731 00:28:46,855 --> 00:28:49,771 I could live in an American suburb with you. 732 00:28:49,815 --> 00:28:51,599 You've got to tell her. 733 00:28:51,642 --> 00:28:53,514 You can't do a thing like that quickly. 734 00:28:53,557 --> 00:28:55,168 There's too much involved. 735 00:28:55,211 --> 00:28:56,604 Five months isn't quickly. 736 00:28:56,647 --> 00:28:57,953 We've been married eight years. 737 00:28:57,997 --> 00:28:59,781 I can't hurt her. 738 00:28:59,825 --> 00:29:02,088 She's never hurt you, I suppose? 739 00:29:02,131 --> 00:29:03,263 If you really knew her you wouldn't 740 00:29:03,306 --> 00:29:05,526 ask ridiculous questions. 741 00:29:05,569 --> 00:29:06,832 JANE [SINGING]: --charlatan! 742 00:29:06,875 --> 00:29:09,008 Poor chap. 743 00:29:09,051 --> 00:29:11,097 Poor chap. 744 00:29:11,140 --> 00:29:13,664 Poor husbands are, eh, Max? 745 00:29:19,975 --> 00:29:21,281 Just because she's your wife, she's 746 00:29:21,324 --> 00:29:23,631 no holier than other women. 747 00:29:23,674 --> 00:29:24,806 What are you implying? 748 00:29:24,850 --> 00:29:25,894 Can't you see it with your own eyes? 749 00:29:25,938 --> 00:29:27,809 They're old friends. 750 00:29:27,853 --> 00:29:30,072 Ask where she was last Friday afternoon. 751 00:29:30,116 --> 00:29:31,117 You're getting hysterical. 752 00:29:31,160 --> 00:29:32,683 Please, you're hurting me. 753 00:29:32,727 --> 00:29:34,250 You're angry with me now. 754 00:29:34,294 --> 00:29:35,251 You hate me. 755 00:29:35,295 --> 00:29:36,775 Oh, don't be a little fool. 756 00:29:36,818 --> 00:29:40,300 I guess it doesn't matter how much you hurt me. 757 00:29:40,343 --> 00:29:41,388 I want to make you happy. 758 00:29:41,431 --> 00:29:42,215 Believe me, darling. 759 00:29:42,258 --> 00:29:43,651 Both of you. 760 00:29:43,694 --> 00:29:45,827 Then I'm afraid you'll have to face the true. 761 00:29:45,871 --> 00:29:47,829 She goes to the symphony on Friday. 762 00:29:47,873 --> 00:29:49,222 And after the symphony? 763 00:29:49,265 --> 00:29:51,746 I assure you I'm not the least worried about it. 764 00:29:51,790 --> 00:29:52,791 Why not? 765 00:29:52,834 --> 00:29:53,966 Are you afraid to know? 766 00:29:54,009 --> 00:29:55,402 Oh! 767 00:29:55,445 --> 00:29:57,012 Don't be a little fool. 768 00:29:57,056 --> 00:29:58,840 I'm tired of having to beat about the bush 769 00:29:58,884 --> 00:30:00,842 while our love is sacrificed. 770 00:30:00,886 --> 00:30:03,497 If you don't ask her, I will. 771 00:30:03,540 --> 00:30:04,193 Matilda! 772 00:30:10,156 --> 00:30:12,245 MAXWELL: Adjourn to the snack bar, everybody. 773 00:30:12,288 --> 00:30:13,028 Come on. 774 00:30:13,072 --> 00:30:14,029 Follow me. 775 00:30:14,073 --> 00:30:15,944 Now that's a spread for you. 776 00:30:15,988 --> 00:30:17,946 JANE: Max, absolutely nobody does this as beautifully 777 00:30:17,990 --> 00:30:18,991 as you. 778 00:30:19,034 --> 00:30:20,644 See, I don't need a wife, do I? 779 00:30:20,688 --> 00:30:21,863 Beg your pardon. 780 00:30:21,907 --> 00:30:22,995 I'm not crowding you, am I? 781 00:30:23,038 --> 00:30:23,865 Not at all. 782 00:30:23,909 --> 00:30:25,171 There's plenty of room. 783 00:30:25,214 --> 00:30:26,476 A little white for Mrs. Evans, please. 784 00:30:26,520 --> 00:30:28,435 Don't you just adore things in aspic? 785 00:30:28,478 --> 00:30:29,653 If you mean does a jellied salad 786 00:30:29,697 --> 00:30:31,307 offend me, definitely not. 787 00:30:31,351 --> 00:30:32,918 Your face is so familiar. 788 00:30:32,961 --> 00:30:33,919 I know I've seen it somewhere. 789 00:30:33,962 --> 00:30:34,789 Excuse me. 790 00:30:34,833 --> 00:30:35,964 Oh, hello, dear. 791 00:30:36,008 --> 00:30:37,313 Do you mean to break up our marriage? 792 00:30:37,357 --> 00:30:38,880 Hm? 793 00:30:38,924 --> 00:30:40,099 I told him if he ever even looked at another lobster 794 00:30:40,142 --> 00:30:41,535 it was grounds for divorce. 795 00:30:41,578 --> 00:30:43,189 Don't you remember what happened last Fri-- 796 00:30:43,232 --> 00:30:44,755 MATILDA: Last Friday-- 797 00:30:44,799 --> 00:30:46,148 ARTHUR: I think I will have some lobster after all. 798 00:30:46,192 --> 00:30:47,367 I'm sure it was just my imagination last time. 799 00:30:47,410 --> 00:30:48,934 My dear, may I give you some advice? 800 00:30:48,977 --> 00:30:51,545 If you ever marry, pick a man with a strong stomach. 801 00:30:51,588 --> 00:30:54,287 A great love overlooks trifles. 802 00:30:54,330 --> 00:30:55,897 Well, if you'd lived with it for eight years, 803 00:30:55,941 --> 00:30:57,812 you'd hardly call Arthur's stomach a trifle. 804 00:30:57,856 --> 00:30:59,727 Couldn't we talk about something else? 805 00:30:59,770 --> 00:31:01,903 We could talk about the three days you spent in the hospital. 806 00:31:01,947 --> 00:31:03,818 Let him go to the hospital again and we'll have as much 807 00:31:03,862 --> 00:31:05,341 as we had last time, hm? 808 00:31:05,385 --> 00:31:06,255 Oh, Max! 809 00:31:06,299 --> 00:31:07,604 [awkward laughter] 810 00:31:12,392 --> 00:31:14,742 [memory harp] 811 00:31:34,109 --> 00:31:36,068 JANE: Wha-- hello, dear. 812 00:31:36,111 --> 00:31:37,199 You're home already? 813 00:31:37,243 --> 00:31:38,635 Oh, I got the tickets changed. 814 00:31:38,679 --> 00:31:39,854 They were wonderful about it. I haven't been-- 815 00:31:39,898 --> 00:31:40,942 Stop chattering. 816 00:31:40,986 --> 00:31:42,291 Arthur, what's wrong? 817 00:31:42,335 --> 00:31:43,466 It isn't the children? 818 00:31:43,510 --> 00:31:44,946 Doesn't your conscience tell you? 819 00:31:44,990 --> 00:31:46,295 My checking account isn't overdrawn? 820 00:31:46,339 --> 00:31:51,170 Don't look so innocent, you-- you Jezebel! 821 00:31:51,213 --> 00:31:51,910 Arthur! 822 00:31:59,004 --> 00:32:00,831 Well, come to any conclusions? 823 00:32:00,875 --> 00:32:02,094 Yeah, give me another. 824 00:32:02,137 --> 00:32:03,922 This ain't gonna do you any good, Ken. 825 00:32:03,965 --> 00:32:06,185 It might make you feel a little better up to a point, 826 00:32:06,228 --> 00:32:07,316 but conclusions? Uh-uh. 827 00:32:07,360 --> 00:32:08,535 OK, OK. 828 00:32:08,578 --> 00:32:11,016 I don't know what to believe. 829 00:32:11,059 --> 00:32:13,757 I don't know. 830 00:32:13,801 --> 00:32:16,108 MAXWELL: Yes, you do know. 831 00:32:16,151 --> 00:32:19,938 You've always believed it. 832 00:32:19,981 --> 00:32:24,116 After all, she was my nurse. 833 00:32:24,159 --> 00:32:25,987 Do you remember? 834 00:32:26,031 --> 00:32:29,860 Think back. 835 00:32:29,904 --> 00:32:33,125 So then I found myself at last in the promised land, Columbus, 836 00:32:33,168 --> 00:32:35,605 Ohio, among my American cousins. 837 00:32:35,649 --> 00:32:37,738 I'd been expecting cowboys and Indians. 838 00:32:37,781 --> 00:32:39,479 What did I find? 839 00:32:39,522 --> 00:32:42,438 Your mother-in-law, only just as pretty then as you are now. 840 00:32:42,482 --> 00:32:43,352 Well, not quite so pretty. 841 00:32:43,396 --> 00:32:44,353 Oh, do tell us more. 842 00:32:44,397 --> 00:32:45,311 Hello, Ken. 843 00:32:45,354 --> 00:32:46,573 You're early, aren't you? 844 00:32:46,616 --> 00:32:48,183 Yeah, we didn't expect you till 6:00. 845 00:32:48,227 --> 00:32:50,142 If I'm interrupting a tender moment I can leave. 846 00:32:50,185 --> 00:32:52,013 Oh, no, no no. 847 00:32:52,057 --> 00:32:53,493 You must enjoy working overtime. 848 00:32:53,536 --> 00:32:55,060 Will I have to pay her time-and-a-half? 849 00:32:55,103 --> 00:32:55,886 You bet you do. 850 00:32:55,930 --> 00:32:57,279 Oh, don't be silly. 851 00:32:57,323 --> 00:32:59,978 I wouldn't stick around if I didn't love it so. 852 00:33:00,021 --> 00:33:01,457 Doesn't Max look wonderful? 853 00:33:01,501 --> 00:33:03,329 He's the healthiest-looking invalid I ever saw. 854 00:33:03,372 --> 00:33:04,721 Shall I tell you something? 855 00:33:04,765 --> 00:33:06,071 I've been putting the whole thing on so as 856 00:33:06,114 --> 00:33:07,811 to keep this radiant creature near me. 857 00:33:07,855 --> 00:33:08,769 Oh, Max. 858 00:33:08,812 --> 00:33:09,596 Let me tell you something. 859 00:33:09,639 --> 00:33:11,032 I believe it. 860 00:33:11,076 --> 00:33:12,338 You ought to be grateful for my heart attacks. 861 00:33:12,381 --> 00:33:13,992 If it hadn't been for your ailing cousin 862 00:33:14,035 --> 00:33:15,297 you'd never had met her, wouldn't you? 863 00:33:15,341 --> 00:33:16,864 And when you snatched her away from me, 864 00:33:16,907 --> 00:33:17,865 I wasn't too pleased, either. 865 00:33:17,908 --> 00:33:19,258 Were you jealous? 866 00:33:19,301 --> 00:33:20,520 Maxwell, you're jealous. 867 00:33:20,563 --> 00:33:22,043 Jealous? 868 00:33:22,087 --> 00:33:23,479 You know perfectly well that when he first met you, 869 00:33:23,523 --> 00:33:25,612 you and I were madly in love with each other. 870 00:33:25,655 --> 00:33:27,179 Hey, you want me to get a heart attack, too? 871 00:33:27,222 --> 00:33:28,049 Oh, just keep this up. 872 00:33:28,093 --> 00:33:29,094 I love it. 873 00:33:29,137 --> 00:33:30,443 I bet you do. You about ready? 874 00:33:30,486 --> 00:33:31,487 Mhm. I'm all packed. 875 00:33:31,531 --> 00:33:32,662 Now you're breaking my heart. 876 00:33:32,706 --> 00:33:33,924 It's in pretty bad shape already. 877 00:33:33,968 --> 00:33:34,969 I shall probably have a relapse. 878 00:33:35,013 --> 00:33:36,797 Oh, how can I thank you enough? 879 00:33:36,840 --> 00:33:38,103 The only way that you can thank me 880 00:33:38,146 --> 00:33:39,713 is by taking care of yourself. 881 00:33:39,756 --> 00:33:41,410 Now you remember your promise? 882 00:33:41,454 --> 00:33:44,544 If at any time you feel even-- even slightly uncomfortable, 883 00:33:44,587 --> 00:33:46,024 I want you to call me. 884 00:33:46,067 --> 00:33:47,112 I don't care if it's day or night. 885 00:33:47,155 --> 00:33:48,983 Oh, sure. 3:00 AM? 886 00:33:49,027 --> 00:33:50,289 4:00? 5:00? 887 00:33:50,332 --> 00:33:51,986 Call me, and I'll be there in 15 minutes. 888 00:33:52,030 --> 00:33:53,466 Just like that. 889 00:33:53,509 --> 00:33:55,598 Now you're making promises, and rash ones, too. 890 00:33:55,642 --> 00:33:58,645 What happens the night when I'm feeling perfectly well, only 891 00:33:58,688 --> 00:34:00,429 just a little bit bored, hm? 892 00:34:00,473 --> 00:34:02,170 Oh, it'll be a pleasure. 893 00:34:02,214 --> 00:34:03,563 Hey, break it up. 894 00:34:03,606 --> 00:34:05,086 It's a date-- we'll be late. 895 00:34:05,130 --> 00:34:07,958 We've got plenty of time. 896 00:34:08,002 --> 00:34:09,177 Hey, what's that? 897 00:34:09,221 --> 00:34:10,439 Isn't it beautiful? 898 00:34:10,483 --> 00:34:11,614 Where'd you get it? 899 00:34:11,658 --> 00:34:12,572 A grateful patient. 900 00:34:21,494 --> 00:34:22,147 Surprise! 901 00:34:26,586 --> 00:34:28,892 Surprise. 902 00:34:28,936 --> 00:34:29,893 Oh! 903 00:34:29,937 --> 00:34:31,156 That funny man's here again. 904 00:34:31,199 --> 00:34:32,070 What have you got? 905 00:34:32,113 --> 00:34:33,245 What did you bring me? 906 00:34:33,288 --> 00:34:34,246 Tut tut. Payment in advance. 907 00:34:34,289 --> 00:34:35,029 Ohh. 908 00:34:37,771 --> 00:34:38,554 Oh, Ken. 909 00:34:38,598 --> 00:34:39,860 An orchid. 910 00:34:39,903 --> 00:34:41,122 Happy second anniversary. 911 00:34:41,166 --> 00:34:42,950 Oh, I haven't had an orchid in years. 912 00:34:42,993 --> 00:34:44,125 I'll wear it tonight. 913 00:34:44,169 --> 00:34:45,039 Wait, wait. 914 00:34:45,083 --> 00:34:47,302 That's not all I've got. 915 00:34:47,346 --> 00:34:49,087 Oh, another present! 916 00:34:49,130 --> 00:34:51,785 Madam, you have a doting and extravagant husband. 917 00:34:51,828 --> 00:34:53,830 I thought we weren't going to spend any money on presents. 918 00:34:53,874 --> 00:34:58,008 Well-- Huh? 919 00:34:58,052 --> 00:34:59,532 What'd you get me? 920 00:34:59,575 --> 00:35:01,011 Well, it's not a diamond wristwatch. 921 00:35:01,055 --> 00:35:01,838 Oh, Ken. 922 00:35:07,148 --> 00:35:08,628 Hey, mine's bigger than yours. 923 00:35:08,671 --> 00:35:11,370 Well, mine's imported. 924 00:35:11,413 --> 00:35:12,110 Mm. 925 00:35:15,113 --> 00:35:16,940 Smell. 926 00:35:16,984 --> 00:35:17,724 Mmm. 927 00:35:17,767 --> 00:35:18,420 Yummy. 928 00:35:22,250 --> 00:35:23,208 Awoo! 929 00:35:23,251 --> 00:35:24,731 On your way! 930 00:35:24,774 --> 00:35:25,688 Oh, yeah. 931 00:35:25,732 --> 00:35:27,299 Our reservations at Louie's. 932 00:35:27,342 --> 00:35:30,432 We're gonna stop at the Top of the Mark for cocktails. 933 00:35:30,476 --> 00:35:32,478 And that's only a beginning. 934 00:35:32,521 --> 00:35:34,958 Ken, do you know what I'm thinking? 935 00:35:35,002 --> 00:35:36,221 What? 936 00:35:36,264 --> 00:35:38,048 That will cost an awful lot of money. 937 00:35:38,092 --> 00:35:39,833 Well, I thought you wanted to go out. 938 00:35:39,876 --> 00:35:43,402 But we haven't spent an evening alone, just the two of us 939 00:35:43,445 --> 00:35:45,578 for such a long time. 940 00:35:45,621 --> 00:35:46,753 Holy cow. 941 00:35:46,796 --> 00:35:47,797 I've been trying all day to figure 942 00:35:47,841 --> 00:35:48,798 out how to sell you that idea. 943 00:35:48,842 --> 00:35:50,060 I was afraid to mention it. 944 00:35:50,104 --> 00:35:52,106 And I thought you wanted to go out. 945 00:35:52,150 --> 00:35:53,673 Oh! 946 00:35:53,716 --> 00:35:56,066 Oh, I've got a little chicken ready for the broiler. 947 00:35:56,110 --> 00:35:58,112 And champagne on ice. 948 00:35:58,156 --> 00:36:00,070 I'll build a fire. 949 00:36:00,114 --> 00:36:00,897 Champagne? 950 00:36:00,941 --> 00:36:02,769 Uh-huh. 951 00:36:02,812 --> 00:36:06,555 Bruit la Fontaine, 1928. 952 00:36:06,599 --> 00:36:07,513 Where'd you get that? 953 00:36:07,556 --> 00:36:08,340 Max gave it to me. 954 00:36:08,383 --> 00:36:09,558 Don't you remember? 955 00:36:09,602 --> 00:36:10,951 Oh, yeah. 956 00:36:10,994 --> 00:36:13,432 Let's drink the whole bottle by ourselves. 957 00:36:13,475 --> 00:36:15,347 [jazz music playing] 958 00:36:15,390 --> 00:36:17,305 Oh. 959 00:36:17,349 --> 00:36:19,264 Did you talk to your mother today? 960 00:36:19,307 --> 00:36:20,439 What do you think? 961 00:36:20,482 --> 00:36:21,570 Did you tell her we were going out? 962 00:36:21,614 --> 00:36:23,485 I told her we were going out. 963 00:36:23,529 --> 00:36:25,705 Was she, uh, angry? 964 00:36:25,748 --> 00:36:28,838 Well, if she was, she's too much of a lady to mention it. 965 00:36:28,882 --> 00:36:30,536 We would be entitled to one evening 966 00:36:30,579 --> 00:36:32,059 alone on our anniversary. 967 00:36:32,102 --> 00:36:34,409 But if we stay home and don't ask her, 968 00:36:34,453 --> 00:36:36,933 she'll be terribly upset. 969 00:36:36,977 --> 00:36:37,630 [snap] 970 00:36:41,286 --> 00:36:42,025 Hurry up! 971 00:36:42,069 --> 00:36:43,331 Let's go! 972 00:36:43,375 --> 00:36:44,680 We'll be late! 973 00:36:44,724 --> 00:36:45,377 Coming! 974 00:36:52,775 --> 00:36:54,037 [WHISPERING] I'll open the champagne. 975 00:36:54,081 --> 00:36:57,476 [WHISPERING] All right. 976 00:36:57,519 --> 00:36:58,868 [phone ringing] 977 00:36:59,695 --> 00:37:00,348 Uh-oh. 978 00:37:06,136 --> 00:37:06,963 Uh-uh. 979 00:37:07,007 --> 00:37:09,357 [inaudible] disturb it. 980 00:37:09,401 --> 00:37:11,446 I'll tell them I'm not taking any calls tonight. 981 00:37:11,490 --> 00:37:12,795 I don't trust you. 982 00:37:12,839 --> 00:37:14,144 Remember what happened last time old Mr. 983 00:37:14,188 --> 00:37:15,363 White was a [inaudible]? 984 00:37:15,407 --> 00:37:16,234 All right. 985 00:37:16,277 --> 00:37:17,104 You answer it. 986 00:37:17,147 --> 00:37:18,627 Tell him I'm out. 987 00:37:18,671 --> 00:37:20,150 Because if they know definitely they can't get me, 988 00:37:20,194 --> 00:37:21,761 they'll call another nurse. -Tell him yourself. 989 00:37:21,804 --> 00:37:22,631 You're a big girl now. 990 00:37:22,675 --> 00:37:24,372 You know how to say no. 991 00:37:24,416 --> 00:37:25,982 Go on. 992 00:37:26,026 --> 00:37:27,201 I want to see how much our anniversary means to you. 993 00:37:30,291 --> 00:37:32,685 Hello? 994 00:37:32,728 --> 00:37:34,121 Are we lucky? 995 00:37:37,167 --> 00:37:38,386 I'll get the chicken ready. 996 00:37:38,430 --> 00:37:39,822 -I'll open the champagne. -No! 997 00:37:39,866 --> 00:37:40,867 You make yourself comfortable. 998 00:37:40,910 --> 00:37:42,129 I'll take care of everything. 999 00:37:42,172 --> 00:37:43,652 OK, I'll get shaved. 1000 00:37:43,696 --> 00:37:45,698 I thought we weren't going out. 1001 00:37:45,741 --> 00:37:47,917 We're not. 1002 00:37:47,961 --> 00:37:49,397 Hey, hey. 1003 00:37:49,441 --> 00:37:50,529 Phone Louis and cancel our reservation, will you? 1004 00:37:50,572 --> 00:37:51,356 All right. 1005 00:37:56,665 --> 00:37:58,711 Hello? 1006 00:37:58,754 --> 00:38:01,322 Yes, this is Mary. 1007 00:38:01,366 --> 00:38:03,498 Oh, hello. 1008 00:38:03,542 --> 00:38:04,630 No, not tonight. 1009 00:38:04,673 --> 00:38:05,370 It's our anniversary. 1010 00:38:08,373 --> 00:38:13,421 Oh, I'm-- I'm terribly sorry to hear that. 1011 00:38:13,465 --> 00:38:19,949 Well, I know, but-- but couldn't-- oh. 1012 00:38:19,993 --> 00:38:22,735 well, I'll be there in 15 minutes. 1013 00:38:22,778 --> 00:38:23,605 Ken, listen. 1014 00:38:23,649 --> 00:38:24,780 I won't be gone long. 1015 00:38:24,824 --> 00:38:25,781 If you just let me explain. 1016 00:38:25,825 --> 00:38:27,305 You've explained enough. 1017 00:38:27,348 --> 00:38:28,915 Now I know how much our anniversary means to you. 1018 00:38:28,958 --> 00:38:29,785 But-- but this is serious. 1019 00:38:29,829 --> 00:38:31,091 Spare me the details. 1020 00:38:31,134 --> 00:38:32,135 I've been hearing them for two years. 1021 00:38:32,179 --> 00:38:33,311 I know all the answers by now. 1022 00:38:33,354 --> 00:38:34,268 If you just let me explain-- 1023 00:38:34,312 --> 00:38:35,138 Why bother? 1024 00:38:35,182 --> 00:38:36,705 Your patient's waiting. 1025 00:38:36,749 --> 00:38:39,142 Oh. 1026 00:38:39,186 --> 00:38:40,840 Who is it this time? 1027 00:38:40,883 --> 00:38:43,582 That old man, 94 years old, dying of double blood pressure 1028 00:38:43,625 --> 00:38:45,366 with a touch of fungus? 1029 00:38:45,410 --> 00:38:46,541 Bad case, huh? 1030 00:38:46,585 --> 00:38:48,369 No one else can save him-- only Mary. 1031 00:38:48,413 --> 00:38:51,459 Our Mary Whittaker always obeys the call of duty. 1032 00:38:51,503 --> 00:38:52,634 You've got it all wrong. 1033 00:38:52,678 --> 00:38:54,201 My patient's not an old man. 1034 00:38:54,244 --> 00:38:56,159 He's young and handsome. 1035 00:38:56,203 --> 00:38:57,465 Divorced three times. 1036 00:38:57,509 --> 00:38:58,640 A regular playboy. 1037 00:38:58,684 --> 00:39:00,033 Not sick at all. 1038 00:39:00,076 --> 00:39:01,643 He's crazy about registered nurses. 1039 00:39:01,687 --> 00:39:03,732 Always gives them gold things and emeralds 1040 00:39:03,776 --> 00:39:05,517 to the ones that he like best. 1041 00:39:05,560 --> 00:39:07,388 I've been waiting months for this call. 1042 00:39:07,432 --> 00:39:08,998 Maybe that's not all kidding. 1043 00:39:09,042 --> 00:39:10,739 What makes you think it is? 1044 00:39:10,783 --> 00:39:13,263 And cook that chicken whenever you want to because I probably 1045 00:39:13,307 --> 00:39:14,177 won't be back all night. 1046 00:39:24,840 --> 00:39:25,493 [bang] 1047 00:39:28,931 --> 00:39:29,584 Happy anniversary. 1048 00:39:35,155 --> 00:39:35,895 Hello, son. 1049 00:39:35,938 --> 00:39:38,550 Hello, mother. 1050 00:39:38,593 --> 00:39:40,160 Isn't Mary here? 1051 00:39:40,203 --> 00:39:41,422 No, she went out. 1052 00:39:41,466 --> 00:39:42,728 Emergency call. 1053 00:39:42,771 --> 00:39:44,686 On your anniversary? 1054 00:39:44,730 --> 00:39:46,384 Oh. 1055 00:39:46,427 --> 00:39:48,603 I thought you were going to have dinner in a restaurant. 1056 00:39:48,647 --> 00:39:50,126 Want me to fix something for you? 1057 00:39:50,170 --> 00:39:51,476 No, she'll be back in an hour. 1058 00:39:51,519 --> 00:39:53,434 You better let me fix you a little supper. 1059 00:39:53,478 --> 00:39:55,784 Remember the last emergency. 1060 00:39:55,828 --> 00:39:57,307 What was it this time? 1061 00:39:57,351 --> 00:39:59,135 I didn't ask. 1062 00:39:59,179 --> 00:40:02,922 Couldn't be too much of an emergency for only an hour. 1063 00:40:02,965 --> 00:40:05,054 Do you want a drink, mother? 1064 00:40:05,098 --> 00:40:08,057 I thought you were saving this for some special occasion? 1065 00:40:08,101 --> 00:40:09,711 Isn't this my anniversary? 1066 00:40:09,755 --> 00:40:12,279 Oh, perhaps I will have a little sip with you, son, 1067 00:40:12,322 --> 00:40:13,933 to cheer you up. 1068 00:40:13,976 --> 00:40:15,630 Here's to you, son. 1069 00:40:15,674 --> 00:40:19,547 May the later years of your marriage be happier. 1070 00:40:19,591 --> 00:40:21,984 We're doing all right now, mother. 1071 00:40:22,028 --> 00:40:24,073 Did Max call again? 1072 00:40:24,117 --> 00:40:25,248 How do you know he called at all? 1073 00:40:25,292 --> 00:40:26,467 Just before you came in. 1074 00:40:26,511 --> 00:40:28,643 She didn't answer and he called me. 1075 00:40:28,687 --> 00:40:30,819 Seemed very anxious to get hold of her. 1076 00:40:30,863 --> 00:40:32,212 Why didn't you tell her? 1077 00:40:32,255 --> 00:40:33,387 You know Max. 1078 00:40:33,431 --> 00:40:35,433 He usually gets what he wants. 1079 00:40:35,476 --> 00:40:37,347 Is he ill again? 1080 00:40:37,391 --> 00:40:40,568 I can't take Max's heart attacks too seriously. 1081 00:40:40,612 --> 00:40:43,136 He always seems to recover so quickly. 1082 00:40:43,179 --> 00:40:44,180 Oh, mother. 1083 00:40:44,224 --> 00:40:45,834 You know he's got a bad heart. 1084 00:40:45,878 --> 00:40:48,271 Can't I have my opinions? 1085 00:40:48,315 --> 00:40:49,272 She's with old Mr. White. 1086 00:40:49,316 --> 00:40:50,317 He's 75. 1087 00:40:50,360 --> 00:40:51,971 He's got high blood pressure. 1088 00:40:52,014 --> 00:40:53,842 I thought you didn't know what the emergency was about. 1089 00:40:53,886 --> 00:40:55,540 Then there's nothing for you to worry about. 1090 00:40:55,583 --> 00:40:56,802 Who said I was worried? 1091 00:40:56,845 --> 00:40:58,020 Don't shout at me, son. 1092 00:40:58,064 --> 00:40:59,021 I'm not deaf. 1093 00:40:59,065 --> 00:40:59,892 She's not with Max, mother. 1094 00:40:59,935 --> 00:41:00,762 I know she isn't. 1095 00:41:00,806 --> 00:41:03,330 Whoever said she was? 1096 00:41:03,373 --> 00:41:06,420 You're not in a very good mood, are you? 1097 00:41:06,464 --> 00:41:10,337 I think I'll go up and eat my little dinner. 1098 00:41:10,380 --> 00:41:11,556 Good night, dear. 1099 00:41:14,907 --> 00:41:15,560 Good night, mother. 1100 00:41:26,658 --> 00:41:30,009 [music playing] 1101 00:41:44,632 --> 00:41:46,504 On a clear day you can see Alcatraz. 1102 00:41:46,547 --> 00:41:47,853 I know. 1103 00:41:47,896 --> 00:41:48,854 You're just out for a breath of fresh air. 1104 00:41:48,897 --> 00:41:49,942 Is there any law against it? 1105 00:41:49,985 --> 00:41:50,725 Oh, no, no. 1106 00:41:50,769 --> 00:41:51,465 Go right ahead. 1107 00:41:54,207 --> 00:41:55,991 Well, if you see anything suspicious, let us know. 1108 00:42:04,043 --> 00:42:04,870 [buzz] 1109 00:42:08,743 --> 00:42:10,179 What do you think he's up to? 1110 00:42:10,223 --> 00:42:11,572 I don't know. 1111 00:42:11,616 --> 00:42:12,486 Let's just mosey along and then come back. 1112 00:42:47,216 --> 00:42:48,478 GEORGE: Good night, Mr. Bard. 1113 00:42:48,522 --> 00:42:49,479 Good night, Ge-- George. 1114 00:42:49,523 --> 00:42:51,133 Yes, sir? 1115 00:42:51,177 --> 00:42:52,570 Bring me a quart of champagne and two glasses, will you? 1116 00:42:52,613 --> 00:42:53,658 -Two glasses, sir? -Shh. 1117 00:42:53,701 --> 00:42:55,442 Yes. 1118 00:42:55,485 --> 00:42:56,748 If you're expecting somebody, I can take another night off. 1119 00:42:56,791 --> 00:42:57,662 No, it's all right, George. 1120 00:42:57,705 --> 00:42:58,967 You get the glasses. 1121 00:42:59,011 --> 00:42:59,794 Leave your hat and coat here, will you? 1122 00:42:59,838 --> 00:43:00,665 Yes, sir. 1123 00:43:21,033 --> 00:43:23,731 Darling, the champagne's just coming up, dearest. 1124 00:43:46,972 --> 00:43:48,321 That's right, George. 1125 00:43:48,364 --> 00:43:51,454 Put the two glasses down there, will you? 1126 00:43:51,498 --> 00:43:53,282 And George! 1127 00:43:53,326 --> 00:43:54,153 take the night off. 1128 00:43:54,196 --> 00:43:55,371 Yes, sir. 1129 00:43:55,415 --> 00:43:56,808 And don't hurry back in the morning. 1130 00:43:56,851 --> 00:43:57,547 Yes, sir. 1131 00:44:01,508 --> 00:44:06,382 [WHISPERING] George, remember I spent the evening alone. 1132 00:44:06,426 --> 00:44:08,428 Darling! 1133 00:44:08,471 --> 00:44:09,690 Will you come down for the champagne 1134 00:44:09,734 --> 00:44:11,213 or shall I bring it up to you? 1135 00:44:15,043 --> 00:44:15,783 Hm? 1136 00:44:15,827 --> 00:44:16,697 What did you say? 1137 00:44:24,792 --> 00:44:27,055 Let's go. 1138 00:44:27,099 --> 00:44:28,840 MAXWELL: Darling, I think you'll love this champagne. 1139 00:44:28,883 --> 00:44:31,016 It's Bruit la Fontaine, 1928. 1140 00:44:31,059 --> 00:44:32,452 I only give it to my favorites. 1141 00:44:32,495 --> 00:44:33,235 [buzzer] 1142 00:44:34,541 --> 00:44:35,281 Oh, must be those hoodlums again. 1143 00:44:35,324 --> 00:44:35,977 Sorry, dear. 1144 00:44:40,416 --> 00:44:41,591 I don't want to alarm you, sir, but 1145 00:44:41,635 --> 00:44:42,636 there's a burglar in the house. 1146 00:44:42,680 --> 00:44:43,768 A burglar in the house? 1147 00:44:43,811 --> 00:44:44,725 We saw him enter from your terrace. 1148 00:44:44,769 --> 00:44:45,857 Better let me go ahead. 1149 00:44:45,900 --> 00:44:46,727 Be careful, officer. 1150 00:44:46,771 --> 00:44:47,902 He might be dangerous. 1151 00:44:47,946 --> 00:44:48,860 Wherever you are, come out. 1152 00:44:48,903 --> 00:44:50,383 We've got you covered. 1153 00:44:50,426 --> 00:44:51,906 KENNETH: I want this house searched! 1154 00:44:51,950 --> 00:44:52,733 OFFICER: What? 1155 00:44:52,777 --> 00:44:53,995 Stay where you are. 1156 00:44:54,039 --> 00:44:55,214 MAXWELL: Keep him covered, officer. 1157 00:44:55,257 --> 00:44:56,389 He looks a desperate character to me. 1158 00:44:56,432 --> 00:44:57,564 Where do you think you're going? 1159 00:44:57,607 --> 00:44:58,565 I'm going to look around upstairs. 1160 00:44:58,608 --> 00:44:59,740 Don't you like it down here? 1161 00:44:59,784 --> 00:45:01,002 -He can explain everything. -Me? 1162 00:45:01,046 --> 00:45:02,395 A judge would rather hear it from you. 1163 00:45:02,438 --> 00:45:03,875 Come on. -Let's be fair, officer. 1164 00:45:03,918 --> 00:45:05,485 I'd like to hear what he's got to say for himself. 1165 00:45:05,528 --> 00:45:07,443 But we caught him red-handed-- illegal entry. 1166 00:45:07,487 --> 00:45:08,967 I was only looking. 1167 00:45:09,010 --> 00:45:10,098 Oh, a peeping Tom, huh? 1168 00:45:10,142 --> 00:45:11,796 [whistle] 1169 00:45:11,839 --> 00:45:13,014 He could get 10 years for that alone, couldn't he, officer? 1170 00:45:13,058 --> 00:45:14,450 At least. Don't let him kid you. 1171 00:45:14,494 --> 00:45:16,017 He's my cousin. 1172 00:45:16,061 --> 00:45:18,019 I've never set eyes on the fellow before in my life. 1173 00:45:18,063 --> 00:45:18,933 Why, you-- 1174 00:45:18,977 --> 00:45:19,934 OFFICER: McCarthy! 1175 00:45:19,978 --> 00:45:21,066 Surround him! -Come on. 1176 00:45:21,109 --> 00:45:21,980 Let's go. 1177 00:45:28,987 --> 00:45:30,640 Come on. 1178 00:45:30,684 --> 00:45:31,424 Where to? 1179 00:45:31,467 --> 00:45:32,381 The gas chamber? 1180 00:45:32,425 --> 00:45:33,600 Someone's gone bail for you. 1181 00:45:33,643 --> 00:45:34,296 How nice. 1182 00:45:41,521 --> 00:45:42,304 Ken. 1183 00:45:42,348 --> 00:45:44,002 Oh, it was you. 1184 00:45:44,045 --> 00:45:45,177 Thanks for nothing. 1185 00:45:45,220 --> 00:45:45,960 Don't thank me. 1186 00:45:50,095 --> 00:45:51,705 OFFICER: Hey, you can't go back again. 1187 00:45:51,749 --> 00:45:53,185 MARY: Ken, please don't make a worse fool of yourself. 1188 00:45:53,228 --> 00:45:53,881 Come on. 1189 00:45:58,756 --> 00:45:59,757 Excuse me, sir. 1190 00:45:59,800 --> 00:46:01,019 Haven't you forgotten something? 1191 00:46:01,062 --> 00:46:02,411 Thank you. 1192 00:46:02,455 --> 00:46:03,543 If it had been up to me I'd have kept you in there 1193 00:46:03,586 --> 00:46:04,631 for three of four years. 1194 00:46:04,674 --> 00:46:05,588 I didn't ask you to bail me out. 1195 00:46:05,632 --> 00:46:06,807 No, but she did. 1196 00:46:06,851 --> 00:46:08,069 Some joke. 1197 00:46:08,113 --> 00:46:08,940 Suppose it gave you both a big laugh. 1198 00:46:08,983 --> 00:46:10,202 Ken, please. 1199 00:46:10,245 --> 00:46:11,159 The next time you visit me, Kenneth, 1200 00:46:11,203 --> 00:46:12,160 come in by the front door. 1201 00:46:12,204 --> 00:46:13,248 It looks better to the police. 1202 00:46:16,599 --> 00:46:17,949 Aren't you ashamed of yourself? 1203 00:46:17,992 --> 00:46:19,385 Never mind me, suppose you start explaining, 1204 00:46:19,428 --> 00:46:20,560 and it better be good. 1205 00:46:20,603 --> 00:46:21,996 I'm not going to tell you anything. 1206 00:46:22,040 --> 00:46:23,519 Where did you go tonight? 1207 00:46:23,563 --> 00:46:25,173 I started to tell you once and you wouldn't listen. 1208 00:46:25,217 --> 00:46:26,827 Now I'm never going to tell you. 1209 00:46:26,871 --> 00:46:29,569 Either you trust me or we're quitting right now. 1210 00:46:29,612 --> 00:46:32,311 Which, Ken? 1211 00:46:32,354 --> 00:46:33,051 Come on home. 1212 00:46:35,923 --> 00:46:37,577 [memory harp] 1213 00:46:42,582 --> 00:46:43,278 Joe. 1214 00:46:45,890 --> 00:46:47,195 What you gonna do? 1215 00:46:47,239 --> 00:46:48,631 I'm going to take your advice. 1216 00:46:48,675 --> 00:46:50,503 There's a time when a man's gotta be a man. 1217 00:46:57,423 --> 00:46:58,337 MRS. WHITTAKER: Hello, son. 1218 00:46:58,380 --> 00:46:59,686 Hi, honey. 1219 00:46:59,729 --> 00:47:00,818 What happened down at Wurdeman's office? 1220 00:47:00,861 --> 00:47:02,515 Was it the will? 1221 00:47:02,558 --> 00:47:03,777 Mother, would you mind leaving us alone for a few minutes? 1222 00:47:03,821 --> 00:47:05,474 Mary and I have something to talk about. 1223 00:47:05,518 --> 00:47:06,867 Couldn't it wait, honey? I've got to hurry. 1224 00:47:06,911 --> 00:47:07,825 It's old Mr. White. 1225 00:47:07,868 --> 00:47:08,782 He asked for me. 1226 00:47:08,826 --> 00:47:09,739 You're not going anywhere. 1227 00:47:09,783 --> 00:47:11,263 MRS. WHITTAKER: Now, son! 1228 00:47:11,306 --> 00:47:12,742 -You stay out of this. -What's the matter, darlin-- 1229 00:47:12,786 --> 00:47:13,918 Shut up. 1230 00:47:13,961 --> 00:47:14,440 I once asked you to explain something. 1231 00:47:14,483 --> 00:47:15,354 You refused. 1232 00:47:15,397 --> 00:47:18,661 Well, now I know. 1233 00:47:18,705 --> 00:47:20,315 We better talk about it when I get back. 1234 00:47:20,359 --> 00:47:21,926 You go out that door, you're not coming back. 1235 00:47:21,969 --> 00:47:24,319 Make up your mind. 1236 00:47:24,363 --> 00:47:25,930 I'll send for I things tomorrow. 1237 00:47:35,461 --> 00:47:37,506 You're not alone, son. 1238 00:47:37,550 --> 00:47:38,551 You still have mother. 1239 00:48:07,014 --> 00:48:07,710 Hi. 1240 00:48:10,670 --> 00:48:11,453 [mumbling] 1241 00:48:12,977 --> 00:48:13,934 What's eating you? 1242 00:48:13,978 --> 00:48:16,458 I got $20 on Audacious King. 1243 00:48:16,502 --> 00:48:19,287 Max told me to watch that nag, rest his soul. 1244 00:48:19,331 --> 00:48:21,333 Where you going to get your tips now Max is gone? 1245 00:48:21,376 --> 00:48:24,075 Ohh, am I gonna miss that guy. 1246 00:48:24,118 --> 00:48:25,380 Look at you. 1247 00:48:25,424 --> 00:48:26,947 Look at-- some show for the neighbors. 1248 00:48:26,991 --> 00:48:28,166 What's wrong? 1249 00:48:28,209 --> 00:48:29,950 I'm just getting a little suntan. 1250 00:48:29,994 --> 00:48:31,169 Can't you wear a sunsuit? 1251 00:48:31,212 --> 00:48:32,344 You've got plenty of dough to spend, 1252 00:48:32,387 --> 00:48:33,519 charge accounts in all the stores. 1253 00:48:33,562 --> 00:48:34,737 I got three sunsuits. 1254 00:48:34,781 --> 00:48:36,391 I'm just too lazy to put one on. 1255 00:48:36,435 --> 00:48:37,566 Mmm. Dames. 1256 00:48:37,610 --> 00:48:38,350 Just give me the sheet. 1257 00:48:38,393 --> 00:48:39,917 No. 1258 00:48:39,960 --> 00:48:41,179 If I had on a sunsuit, you'd tell me I was getting 1259 00:48:41,222 --> 00:48:43,746 fat again, so why bother? 1260 00:48:43,790 --> 00:48:46,097 Remember what you looked like last year? 1261 00:48:46,140 --> 00:48:47,141 Have a piece. 1262 00:48:47,185 --> 00:48:48,099 It'll sweeten your disposition. 1263 00:48:48,142 --> 00:48:48,969 OK. 1264 00:48:49,013 --> 00:48:49,752 Get fat. 1265 00:48:49,796 --> 00:48:51,102 See if I care. 1266 00:48:51,145 --> 00:48:52,886 You care all right. 1267 00:48:52,930 --> 00:48:55,323 You'd like a streamline model to brag about. 1268 00:48:55,367 --> 00:48:56,890 I don't know what's got into you lately. 1269 00:48:56,934 --> 00:48:58,979 You used to have such a sense of humor. 1270 00:48:59,023 --> 00:49:00,502 Which do you want, McCabe, a sense 1271 00:49:00,546 --> 00:49:02,548 of humor or a glamor girl? 1272 00:49:02,591 --> 00:49:04,419 I happen to like candy. 1273 00:49:04,463 --> 00:49:08,249 Yeah, and I like beer, and sodas, and mashed potatoes. 1274 00:49:08,293 --> 00:49:10,208 We worked hard for our dough. 1275 00:49:10,251 --> 00:49:12,601 What's the good of it if you can't enjoy life? 1276 00:49:12,645 --> 00:49:14,255 I can enjoy life without going in training 1277 00:49:14,299 --> 00:49:16,040 for the fat lady in a sideshow. 1278 00:49:16,083 --> 00:49:17,606 You're awful crabby today. 1279 00:49:17,650 --> 00:49:18,520 What did you have for lunch? 1280 00:49:18,564 --> 00:49:19,347 I'm crabby? 1281 00:49:19,391 --> 00:49:20,609 How about you? 1282 00:49:20,653 --> 00:49:21,784 I come home and I hand you a laugh-- 1283 00:49:21,828 --> 00:49:23,003 something Wurdeman gave me. 1284 00:49:23,047 --> 00:49:24,004 What do I get from you? 1285 00:49:24,048 --> 00:49:24,744 A caramel. 1286 00:49:44,068 --> 00:49:45,243 Well, what was the big laugh? 1287 00:49:50,117 --> 00:49:50,988 That Dick Tracy. 1288 00:49:54,948 --> 00:49:56,167 All right, so don't tell me. 1289 00:50:02,173 --> 00:50:03,565 [laughing] 1290 00:50:03,609 --> 00:50:05,045 You really want to know what Wurdeman gave me? 1291 00:50:05,089 --> 00:50:07,134 I don't care if he gave you a black eye. 1292 00:50:07,178 --> 00:50:10,616 Uhh, you're the one who got the black eye. 1293 00:50:10,659 --> 00:50:12,226 From Wurdeman? 1294 00:50:12,270 --> 00:50:14,489 He's not the type that would make cracks about a lady. 1295 00:50:14,533 --> 00:50:15,490 A gentleman, huh? 1296 00:50:15,534 --> 00:50:16,839 Like your friend Max? 1297 00:50:16,883 --> 00:50:19,973 You should be such a gentleman, McCabe. 1298 00:50:20,017 --> 00:50:22,454 No gentleman would pull a gag like this. 1299 00:50:22,497 --> 00:50:24,760 Don't speak ill of the dead on the day of the funeral. 1300 00:50:24,804 --> 00:50:25,457 What's the gag? 1301 00:50:42,169 --> 00:50:45,738 What's so funny? 1302 00:50:45,781 --> 00:50:47,479 Most husbands would be sore if someone 1303 00:50:47,522 --> 00:50:49,089 said this about their wives. 1304 00:50:49,133 --> 00:50:50,525 Sure. 1305 00:50:50,569 --> 00:50:54,138 I would, too, if I believed it. 1306 00:50:54,181 --> 00:50:55,965 You're awful sure it's a gag. 1307 00:50:56,009 --> 00:50:56,966 I got a nose for it. 1308 00:50:57,010 --> 00:50:59,099 I can smell a gag 10 miles away. 1309 00:50:59,143 --> 00:51:01,362 You might be surprised, McCabe. 1310 00:51:01,406 --> 00:51:03,147 You mean you and Max? 1311 00:51:03,190 --> 00:51:04,800 You got to be kidding me. 1312 00:51:04,844 --> 00:51:07,238 Oh, I didn't have class enough, huh? 1313 00:51:07,281 --> 00:51:10,154 I'm not saying anything against you, but I'm a man. 1314 00:51:10,197 --> 00:51:11,938 I know what men go for. 1315 00:51:11,981 --> 00:51:14,245 Eskimos go for blubber. 1316 00:51:14,288 --> 00:51:16,725 He was no Eskimo. 1317 00:51:16,769 --> 00:51:18,336 Glass of beer or a romance. 1318 00:51:18,379 --> 00:51:20,294 Max would have only the best. 1319 00:51:20,338 --> 00:51:22,601 That's why he picked you for a friend, I suppose. 1320 00:51:22,644 --> 00:51:24,298 Well, didn't he? 1321 00:51:24,342 --> 00:51:26,518 From the very first moment we met we were just like that. 1322 00:51:26,561 --> 00:51:27,867 Sure, at the stables. 1323 00:51:27,910 --> 00:51:29,738 Oh, you were all right for a judge 1324 00:51:29,782 --> 00:51:32,089 of horse flesh or a few laughs. 1325 00:51:32,132 --> 00:51:34,308 How do you like-- how do you like that? 1326 00:51:34,352 --> 00:51:35,831 I was over at his place all the time! 1327 00:51:35,875 --> 00:51:38,007 For poker games. 1328 00:51:38,051 --> 00:51:39,270 But did he ever ask you to dinner? 1329 00:51:39,313 --> 00:51:40,749 Or come to see us? 1330 00:51:40,793 --> 00:51:44,666 Or invite you to his parties till he met me? 1331 00:51:44,710 --> 00:51:46,364 I'm not a woman. 1332 00:51:46,407 --> 00:51:48,540 I don't remember things like that. 1333 00:51:48,583 --> 00:51:52,152 Well, jog your memory. 1334 00:51:52,196 --> 00:51:53,588 You remember, all right. 1335 00:51:57,201 --> 00:51:58,941 Me and Max. 1336 00:51:58,985 --> 00:52:01,640 MAXWELL: You remember. 1337 00:52:01,683 --> 00:52:03,468 Think back. 1338 00:52:03,511 --> 00:52:05,165 [announcement trumpet] 1339 00:52:05,209 --> 00:52:07,950 ANNOUNCER: At the race, it's Glamour Boy by 3/4 of a length. 1340 00:52:07,994 --> 00:52:09,952 [inaudible]. 1341 00:52:09,996 --> 00:52:11,432 Glamour Boy! 1342 00:52:11,476 --> 00:52:13,913 Come on, Glamour Boy! 1343 00:52:13,956 --> 00:52:15,132 Come on! 1344 00:52:15,175 --> 00:52:15,915 Yay! 1345 00:52:15,958 --> 00:52:16,872 Look at him! 1346 00:52:16,916 --> 00:52:17,569 He's a mile out in front! 1347 00:52:17,612 --> 00:52:18,352 Come on, boy! 1348 00:52:18,396 --> 00:52:19,092 Keep going! 1349 00:52:24,358 --> 00:52:26,317 I got $50 on Glamour Boy. 1350 00:52:26,360 --> 00:52:27,274 Come on, boy! 1351 00:52:27,318 --> 00:52:28,319 Show them your tail! 1352 00:52:28,362 --> 00:52:29,842 Shut up and sit down, will you? 1353 00:52:29,885 --> 00:52:31,322 When you're in the box, you ought to act like it. 1354 00:52:31,365 --> 00:52:33,062 Listen, for my $50, I got a right to yell. 1355 00:52:33,106 --> 00:52:33,846 Come on! 1356 00:52:33,889 --> 00:52:35,500 Keep going! 1357 00:52:35,543 --> 00:52:36,849 Most of these people have a 50 times 50 bet on a horse. 1358 00:52:36,892 --> 00:52:38,242 See them jumping up and yelling? 1359 00:52:44,378 --> 00:52:45,858 ANNOUNCER: And now they're heading for home. 1360 00:52:45,901 --> 00:52:47,512 It's still Lou by a length now. 1361 00:52:47,555 --> 00:52:48,339 He's riding. 1362 00:52:48,382 --> 00:52:49,601 He's riding. 1363 00:52:49,644 --> 00:52:50,863 Skip to the Lou [inaudible] Glamour Boy. 1364 00:52:50,906 --> 00:52:52,343 Skip to the Lou is on the way. 1365 00:52:52,386 --> 00:52:56,825 It's Skip to the Lou by a length and a half. 1366 00:52:56,869 --> 00:52:57,739 Glamour Boy. 1367 00:53:08,359 --> 00:53:10,099 Jonathan Rim, president of Amalgamated Associated, 1368 00:53:10,143 --> 00:53:11,710 is looking at you. 1369 00:53:11,753 --> 00:53:13,799 What am I supposed to do, drop dead because Associated 1370 00:53:13,842 --> 00:53:15,017 Amalgamated looks at me? 1371 00:53:15,061 --> 00:53:16,715 Amalgamated Associated. 1372 00:53:16,758 --> 00:53:19,283 You see, Amalgamated Industry's associated with Amalga-- no. 1373 00:53:19,326 --> 00:53:21,589 Associated Amal-- he's one of our best customers. 1374 00:53:21,633 --> 00:53:22,286 Smile, for Pete's sake. 1375 00:53:29,031 --> 00:53:32,296 I'll bet you $50 those two zombies are after some dough. 1376 00:53:32,339 --> 00:53:33,297 Don't point. 1377 00:53:33,340 --> 00:53:34,341 With you, it's always dough. 1378 00:53:34,385 --> 00:53:35,516 He does a lot of charity work. 1379 00:53:35,560 --> 00:53:36,387 Probably members of the committee. 1380 00:53:36,430 --> 00:53:37,083 You could join one of them. 1381 00:53:37,126 --> 00:53:38,258 Not me. 1382 00:53:38,302 --> 00:53:39,085 My mother was scared by a committee. 1383 00:53:42,175 --> 00:53:43,045 Max Bard's here. 1384 00:53:43,089 --> 00:53:43,959 Put it back on-- your hat. 1385 00:53:44,003 --> 00:53:45,526 I can't see with it on. 1386 00:53:45,570 --> 00:53:47,093 For $80 it don't make no difference whether you can see 1387 00:53:47,136 --> 00:53:48,442 or not. What will people think? 1388 00:53:48,486 --> 00:53:51,140 They come to see the horses, not look at me. 1389 00:53:51,184 --> 00:53:53,317 What are you gonna bet on, Thunder Forth or Be Yourself? 1390 00:53:53,360 --> 00:53:54,666 That must be Evans' wife. 1391 00:53:54,709 --> 00:53:55,449 The long-legged type. 1392 00:53:55,493 --> 00:53:56,450 Some class. 1393 00:53:56,494 --> 00:53:57,234 Too thin. 1394 00:54:01,499 --> 00:54:02,413 Put it back on. 1395 00:54:02,456 --> 00:54:04,763 He's looking at you. 1396 00:54:04,806 --> 00:54:07,244 What did he ever do that's so special, besides taking 1397 00:54:07,287 --> 00:54:08,462 your money at poker? 1398 00:54:08,506 --> 00:54:10,203 For one thing, he owns Glamour Boy. 1399 00:54:10,247 --> 00:54:11,378 Glamour Boy? 1400 00:54:11,422 --> 00:54:13,467 If that's high society, excuse me. 1401 00:54:13,511 --> 00:54:14,294 Where you going? 1402 00:54:14,338 --> 00:54:15,817 Get a hot dog. 1403 00:54:15,861 --> 00:54:17,166 If you're hungry, why don't you go to the club house, 1404 00:54:17,210 --> 00:54:17,906 get a club sandwich? 1405 00:54:17,950 --> 00:54:19,081 I feel like a hot dog. 1406 00:54:19,125 --> 00:54:20,387 Where do you think you are, Seal Beach? 1407 00:54:20,431 --> 00:54:21,954 What, is it so bad there? 1408 00:54:21,997 --> 00:54:23,042 You get me crazy sometimes. 1409 00:54:23,085 --> 00:54:24,261 We work hard all our lives. 1410 00:54:24,304 --> 00:54:25,305 We finally meet some classy people. 1411 00:54:25,349 --> 00:54:26,915 What do you do? Eat hot dogs. 1412 00:54:26,959 --> 00:54:28,177 Listen, McCabe. 1413 00:54:28,221 --> 00:54:30,049 I started out in life selling popcorn. 1414 00:54:30,092 --> 00:54:31,485 And if my luck don't improve today, 1415 00:54:31,529 --> 00:54:33,792 it looks like I'll wind up that way, too. 1416 00:54:33,835 --> 00:54:35,315 Uh oh. 1417 00:54:35,359 --> 00:54:37,448 Associated Amalgamated is calling you. 1418 00:54:40,538 --> 00:54:43,454 LUCILLE: One dog without, one Coke here! 1419 00:54:43,497 --> 00:54:44,933 I'm telling you, lady, it's Thunder Forth. 1420 00:54:44,977 --> 00:54:45,934 Look at the odds. 1421 00:54:45,978 --> 00:54:47,327 I looked. 1422 00:54:47,371 --> 00:54:48,807 It's not my place to pass an opinion, madam, 1423 00:54:48,850 --> 00:54:50,417 but I've worked the whole thing out mathematically 1424 00:54:50,461 --> 00:54:51,288 and the odds are right. 1425 00:54:51,331 --> 00:54:52,637 I don't know. 1426 00:54:52,680 --> 00:54:53,942 That Thunder Forth just don't appeal to me. 1427 00:54:53,986 --> 00:54:55,117 You've got a better choice? 1428 00:54:55,161 --> 00:54:57,032 I got a feeling about Be Yourself. 1429 00:54:57,076 --> 00:54:58,338 A sticky feeling? 1430 00:54:58,382 --> 00:54:59,992 Like he was close to the glue factory? 1431 00:55:00,035 --> 00:55:01,602 That's Be Yourself. 1432 00:55:01,646 --> 00:55:02,777 Take my word for it, madam. 1433 00:55:02,821 --> 00:55:04,431 Be Yourself is a fool's gamble. 1434 00:55:04,475 --> 00:55:05,563 Mathematics never fail. 1435 00:55:05,606 --> 00:55:06,564 Yeah? 1436 00:55:06,607 --> 00:55:07,956 How many races did you win? 1437 00:55:08,000 --> 00:55:10,655 Cleaned up $432 this season on paper. 1438 00:55:10,698 --> 00:55:12,352 I'm telling you. 1439 00:55:12,396 --> 00:55:13,658 Only the schnooks are putting their dough on Be Yourself. 1440 00:55:13,701 --> 00:55:15,094 He ain't got a glimmer. 1441 00:55:15,137 --> 00:55:16,356 Forgive me for butting in, sir, but you know 1442 00:55:16,400 --> 00:55:17,749 that's only one man's opinion. 1443 00:55:17,792 --> 00:55:19,011 Your dog, madam, without. 1444 00:55:19,054 --> 00:55:20,578 -Thanks. -OK, Jack. 1445 00:55:20,621 --> 00:55:21,579 You want to join the schnooks? 1446 00:55:21,622 --> 00:55:23,102 The schnooks? 1447 00:55:23,145 --> 00:55:24,321 Well, it sounds an admirable organization to me, 1448 00:55:24,364 --> 00:55:25,626 but I'm afraid I only join clubs when 1449 00:55:25,670 --> 00:55:26,932 they become wildly unpopular. 1450 00:55:26,975 --> 00:55:28,107 I'm sorry. 1451 00:55:28,150 --> 00:55:29,456 My money's on Be Yourself. 1452 00:55:29,500 --> 00:55:30,936 Don't take any tips from him. 1453 00:55:30,979 --> 00:55:32,372 He owns Glamour Boy. 1454 00:55:32,416 --> 00:55:34,200 I bought Glamour Boy on the advice of one 1455 00:55:34,243 --> 00:55:36,376 of the greatest horse racing experts in this country. 1456 00:55:36,420 --> 00:55:37,812 Which one? 1457 00:55:37,856 --> 00:55:39,074 Your old man. 1458 00:55:39,118 --> 00:55:40,380 Oh-ho-ho. 1459 00:55:40,424 --> 00:55:41,947 Ask him his advice about women sometime. 1460 00:55:41,990 --> 00:55:43,383 He's an expert on that, too. 1461 00:55:43,427 --> 00:55:45,080 So I noticed. 1462 00:55:45,124 --> 00:55:47,039 I don't blame him for keeping this filly a secret, do you? 1463 00:55:47,082 --> 00:55:49,258 Say, I think I'm gonna like you. 1464 00:55:49,302 --> 00:55:50,129 Same here. 1465 00:55:50,172 --> 00:55:51,391 Be Yourself, huh? 1466 00:55:51,435 --> 00:55:52,523 Always. 1467 00:55:52,566 --> 00:55:53,393 It's going to cost you money, lady. 1468 00:55:53,437 --> 00:55:54,525 I'm warning you. 1469 00:55:54,568 --> 00:55:55,569 So you're Max Bard. 1470 00:55:55,613 --> 00:55:57,005 And you're Lucille McCabe. 1471 00:55:57,049 --> 00:55:58,746 BOTH: How do you do? 1472 00:55:58,790 --> 00:56:00,400 Don't look now, but I think we're being followed. 1473 00:56:00,444 --> 00:56:02,141 Just protecting the lady's interest, bud. 1474 00:56:02,184 --> 00:56:04,273 You've got exactly 45 seconds left to get your money down 1475 00:56:04,317 --> 00:56:05,536 on the right horse. 1476 00:56:05,579 --> 00:56:06,580 And we can place it for you. 1477 00:56:06,624 --> 00:56:07,755 Thank you for reminding me. 1478 00:56:07,799 --> 00:56:08,974 I'll put five on the nose for you. 1479 00:56:09,017 --> 00:56:09,975 Why bother with the machines, Jack? 1480 00:56:10,018 --> 00:56:11,585 I'm mechanically-minded. 1481 00:56:11,629 --> 00:56:13,326 That pony ain't gonna put any jets down for you, lady. 1482 00:56:13,370 --> 00:56:14,458 That's his racket. 1483 00:56:14,501 --> 00:56:16,068 Why don't you give him the brush? 1484 00:56:16,111 --> 00:56:17,417 We happen to know the bona fide owner of Glamour Boy. 1485 00:56:17,461 --> 00:56:18,592 Yeah, and it ain't him. 1486 00:56:18,636 --> 00:56:19,463 Now, if you want to listen to what-- 1487 00:56:19,506 --> 00:56:20,768 Oh, there you are. 1488 00:56:20,812 --> 00:56:21,595 I've been looking everywhere for you. 1489 00:56:21,639 --> 00:56:22,944 Just a minute, Jack. 1490 00:56:22,988 --> 00:56:24,946 This lady and I was talking. 1491 00:56:24,990 --> 00:56:26,208 You happen to know this lady? 1492 00:56:26,252 --> 00:56:26,992 Yeah. 1493 00:56:27,035 --> 00:56:27,993 Do you? 1494 00:56:28,036 --> 00:56:28,776 Slightly. 1495 00:56:28,820 --> 00:56:29,734 She's my wife. 1496 00:56:29,777 --> 00:56:30,517 Oh. 1497 00:56:30,561 --> 00:56:32,084 Blow. 1498 00:56:32,127 --> 00:56:35,217 The odds are that he will be surprised. 1499 00:56:35,261 --> 00:56:36,610 Club house ain't good enough for you, huh? 1500 00:56:36,654 --> 00:56:38,220 I leave you alone for a minute, what do you do? 1501 00:56:38,264 --> 00:56:39,526 Associate with flotsam and jetsam. 1502 00:56:39,570 --> 00:56:40,614 How did you know their names? 1503 00:56:40,658 --> 00:56:42,137 How did I-- 1504 00:56:42,181 --> 00:56:43,574 Those two gentlemen happen to be friends of mine. 1505 00:56:43,617 --> 00:56:45,140 So I see. 1506 00:56:45,184 --> 00:56:46,185 The kind of characters you'd expect in an environment 1507 00:56:46,228 --> 00:56:47,752 like-- hey, Max! -Dan. 1508 00:56:47,795 --> 00:56:48,796 What are you doing here? 1509 00:56:48,840 --> 00:56:50,145 Hey, I want you to meet my wife. 1510 00:56:50,189 --> 00:56:51,538 I always wanted to get you two together. 1511 00:56:51,582 --> 00:56:53,497 ANNOUNCER: And the winner is Be Yourself. 1512 00:56:53,540 --> 00:56:54,498 Be Yourself! 1513 00:56:54,541 --> 00:56:55,455 We did it! 1514 00:56:55,499 --> 00:56:57,457 Yahoo! 1515 00:56:57,501 --> 00:56:58,980 I see two have met. 1516 00:56:59,024 --> 00:57:00,199 Yes, we ran into each other at the hot dog counter. 1517 00:57:00,242 --> 00:57:01,156 Would you like a bite? 1518 00:57:01,200 --> 00:57:02,636 No. 1519 00:57:02,680 --> 00:57:04,203 I-- I gotta be going so-- your hat's on backwards. 1520 00:57:04,246 --> 00:57:05,509 Oh, don't change it. 1521 00:57:05,552 --> 00:57:06,379 It couldn't look nicer than it does now. 1522 00:57:06,423 --> 00:57:07,511 Think you. 1523 00:57:07,554 --> 00:57:09,164 I got bad news for you, Lucille. 1524 00:57:09,208 --> 00:57:10,557 I can't drive you home. 1525 00:57:10,601 --> 00:57:12,167 What's bad news about that, the way you drive? 1526 00:57:12,211 --> 00:57:13,473 What happened? 1527 00:57:13,517 --> 00:57:15,432 Associated Amalgamated needs a free ride? 1528 00:57:15,475 --> 00:57:17,129 One of my associates, Jonathan Rim, 1529 00:57:17,172 --> 00:57:19,436 on the way over to Oakland-- he wants to talk over a deal. 1530 00:57:19,479 --> 00:57:20,219 Yes, Jonathan Rim. 1531 00:57:20,262 --> 00:57:21,481 We all know him. 1532 00:57:21,525 --> 00:57:22,700 Why don't you let me take you home? 1533 00:57:22,743 --> 00:57:23,962 I drive even worse than your husband. 1534 00:57:24,005 --> 00:57:25,224 You couldn't, but you've got a deal. 1535 00:57:25,267 --> 00:57:26,051 You don't have to bother. 1536 00:57:26,094 --> 00:57:27,182 She can take a cab. 1537 00:57:27,226 --> 00:57:28,445 She's found her way home before. 1538 00:57:28,488 --> 00:57:30,055 Are you, by any chance, free for dinner? 1539 00:57:30,098 --> 00:57:31,535 I certainly am. 1540 00:57:31,578 --> 00:57:32,579 Good. 1541 00:57:32,623 --> 00:57:33,406 See you later. 1542 00:57:33,450 --> 00:57:34,233 Oh, no. 1543 00:57:34,276 --> 00:57:35,843 No. 1544 00:57:35,887 --> 00:57:37,149 Your wife, huh? 1545 00:57:37,192 --> 00:57:38,716 I suppose you own two horses. 1546 00:57:38,759 --> 00:57:39,456 Hey. 1547 00:57:42,197 --> 00:57:44,373 [singing "pop goes the weasel"] 1548 00:57:47,289 --> 00:57:49,161 Did I wake you, honey? 1549 00:57:49,204 --> 00:57:52,294 A fine time for a decent woman to be getting in. 1550 00:57:52,338 --> 00:57:53,948 I thought you'd been killed or something. 1551 00:57:53,992 --> 00:57:54,775 I wasn't killed. 1552 00:57:54,819 --> 00:57:55,733 Where have you been? 1553 00:57:55,776 --> 00:57:56,951 Having fun. 1554 00:57:56,995 --> 00:57:57,822 Fun, huh? 1555 00:57:57,865 --> 00:58:00,128 That Max, he's great. 1556 00:58:00,172 --> 00:58:03,349 He is so funny, that guy. 1557 00:58:03,392 --> 00:58:04,829 You wanna know what he told me? 1558 00:58:04,872 --> 00:58:06,526 Yeah, what? 1559 00:58:06,570 --> 00:58:07,309 Come on to bed. 1560 00:58:07,353 --> 00:58:08,049 I'm tired. 1561 00:58:13,141 --> 00:58:14,491 You don't wanna hear my story. 1562 00:58:18,886 --> 00:58:22,324 We used to have so much fun together, you and me. 1563 00:58:22,368 --> 00:58:23,064 Remember? 1564 00:58:28,113 --> 00:58:31,072 What's the idea, getting me all worried, huh? 1565 00:58:31,116 --> 00:58:34,728 Were you worried, kid? 1566 00:58:34,772 --> 00:58:37,644 Were you worried? 1567 00:58:37,688 --> 00:58:38,558 [dog barking] 1568 00:58:40,647 --> 00:58:42,127 Isn't he cute? 1569 00:58:42,170 --> 00:58:43,998 Max bought him for me. 1570 00:58:44,042 --> 00:58:45,391 Says he looks just like you. 1571 00:58:50,135 --> 00:58:51,963 Hurry up, will you? 1572 00:58:52,006 --> 00:58:53,747 LUCILLE: Don't wait for me. 1573 00:58:53,791 --> 00:58:54,531 Why not? 1574 00:58:57,229 --> 00:59:00,319 Oh, that's how you're wasting your time, huh? 1575 00:59:00,362 --> 00:59:02,713 You used to yell at me because I dressed so fast. 1576 00:59:02,756 --> 00:59:04,410 Now I waste time. 1577 00:59:04,453 --> 00:59:06,064 How do you like the outfits? -They're OK. 1578 00:59:06,107 --> 00:59:07,239 Come on. 1579 00:59:07,282 --> 00:59:08,501 I hope it's classy enough for you. 1580 00:59:08,545 --> 00:59:09,894 Max picked it out. 1581 00:59:09,937 --> 00:59:11,983 What are you putting that stuff on for? 1582 00:59:12,026 --> 00:59:13,419 You like it? 1583 00:59:13,462 --> 00:59:15,073 I suppose Max picked that out, too. 1584 00:59:15,116 --> 00:59:15,856 His favorite. 1585 00:59:15,900 --> 00:59:17,031 Some taste he's got. 1586 00:59:17,075 --> 00:59:18,380 Come on. 1587 00:59:18,424 --> 00:59:19,381 Where we're going, nobody will smell you. 1588 00:59:19,425 --> 00:59:20,731 -Why not? -It's obvious. 1589 00:59:20,774 --> 00:59:22,254 Where do you think I'm going? 1590 00:59:22,297 --> 00:59:23,211 To the stable. 1591 00:59:23,255 --> 00:59:23,951 Biddy's waiting to be fed. 1592 00:59:23,995 --> 00:59:24,735 Go on. 1593 00:59:24,778 --> 00:59:25,997 Feed her, then. 1594 00:59:26,040 --> 00:59:27,825 You mean you're not coming? 1595 00:59:27,868 --> 00:59:28,869 Not today. 1596 00:59:28,913 --> 00:59:30,262 I got something more important. 1597 00:59:30,305 --> 00:59:31,829 More important than your own horse? 1598 00:59:31,872 --> 00:59:32,699 Forget it. 1599 00:59:32,743 --> 00:59:33,526 You're coming with me. 1600 00:59:33,570 --> 00:59:35,354 I can't possibly. 1601 00:59:35,397 --> 00:59:36,834 What is it's so important? 1602 00:59:36,877 --> 00:59:39,401 I got a committee meeting. 1603 00:59:39,445 --> 00:59:41,142 I never thought I'd live to see the day 1604 00:59:41,186 --> 00:59:43,710 when you'd ditch your own horse for a bunch of female zombies. 1605 00:59:43,754 --> 00:59:46,278 You ain't putting on the perfume for them. 1606 00:59:46,321 --> 00:59:47,932 You want your wife to go out with society 1607 00:59:47,975 --> 00:59:51,239 people smelling of stables? 1608 00:59:51,283 --> 00:59:52,371 Well, why don't you get going? 1609 00:59:52,414 --> 00:59:54,373 You were in such a hurry. 1610 00:59:54,416 --> 00:59:55,722 I'll take you wherever you're going. 1611 00:59:55,766 --> 00:59:56,636 You needn't bother. 1612 00:59:56,680 --> 00:59:57,681 I'm getting picked up. 1613 00:59:57,724 --> 00:59:58,551 By who? 1614 00:59:58,595 --> 00:59:59,465 By whom. 1615 00:59:59,508 --> 01:00:00,509 By whom? 1616 01:00:00,553 --> 01:00:01,206 The chairman of the committee. 1617 01:00:11,129 --> 01:00:12,434 What are you waiting for? 1618 01:00:12,478 --> 01:00:13,653 I thought your poor horse was starving. 1619 01:00:13,697 --> 01:00:15,133 What's worrying you? 1620 01:00:15,176 --> 01:00:16,351 The zombies might see you with the lower classes? 1621 01:00:16,395 --> 01:00:17,265 Don't answer that. 1622 01:00:17,309 --> 01:00:18,179 Here comes the chairman. 1623 01:00:28,712 --> 01:00:30,583 Must be two other zombies. 1624 01:00:30,627 --> 01:00:31,889 Hi, Max. 1625 01:00:31,932 --> 01:00:33,673 MAXWELL: Taxi man. 1626 01:00:33,717 --> 01:00:35,109 I thought you'd never get here. 1627 01:00:35,153 --> 01:00:36,371 MAXWELL: Oh, darling, am I late? 1628 01:00:36,415 --> 01:00:37,329 I'm so sorry. 1629 01:00:37,372 --> 01:00:38,896 Hello, Dan. 1630 01:00:38,939 --> 01:00:40,332 I wasn't expecting to see you. 1631 01:00:40,375 --> 01:00:41,855 I thought you were going to a committee meeting? 1632 01:00:41,899 --> 01:00:43,378 Well she is. 1633 01:00:43,422 --> 01:00:44,466 I'm the chairman. 1634 01:00:44,510 --> 01:00:45,598 Did you tell him? 1635 01:00:45,642 --> 01:00:47,078 What don't I know? 1636 01:00:47,121 --> 01:00:48,819 It's going to be one of those long meetings, too. 1637 01:00:48,862 --> 01:00:51,430 You know what it is-- passing resolutions, seconding motions, 1638 01:00:51,473 --> 01:00:53,519 votes of thanks, yak, yak, yak. 1639 01:00:53,562 --> 01:00:56,043 And I'm afraid that this ravishing creature-- she may 1640 01:00:56,087 --> 01:00:57,044 not be home for dinner tonight. 1641 01:00:57,088 --> 01:00:57,958 Hope you don't mind. 1642 01:00:58,002 --> 01:00:58,829 Oh, no. 1643 01:00:58,872 --> 01:00:59,873 That won't bother him. 1644 01:00:59,917 --> 01:01:00,744 He'd rather be with his horse. 1645 01:01:00,787 --> 01:01:01,570 Sure. 1646 01:01:01,614 --> 01:01:02,571 With his horse? 1647 01:01:02,615 --> 01:01:03,660 Ah, well chacun et son gout. 1648 01:01:03,703 --> 01:01:04,443 What? 1649 01:01:04,486 --> 01:01:05,313 French. 1650 01:01:05,357 --> 01:01:06,750 Every man to his taste. 1651 01:01:06,793 --> 01:01:08,490 Shut the door, old thing, will you? 1652 01:01:08,534 --> 01:01:09,927 Well. 1653 01:01:09,970 --> 01:01:10,928 Merci, mon petit. 1654 01:01:10,971 --> 01:01:12,494 [MISPRONOUNCING] Au riv-war. 1655 01:01:12,538 --> 01:01:13,191 MAXWELL [HEAVY FRENCH ACCENT]: Au ruh-vwah. 1656 01:01:13,234 --> 01:01:13,800 LUCILLE: Merci. 1657 01:01:17,717 --> 01:01:19,371 French. 1658 01:01:19,414 --> 01:01:24,245 MAXWELL: [speaking french] 1659 01:01:24,289 --> 01:01:25,725 LUCILLE: It will rain tomorrow. 1660 01:01:25,769 --> 01:01:28,423 My uncle and I cannot go to the races. 1661 01:01:28,467 --> 01:01:29,468 MAXWELL: Right. 1662 01:01:29,511 --> 01:01:32,689 [speaking french] 1663 01:01:32,732 --> 01:01:35,866 LUCILLE: Gratte-ciel-- oh, the skyscraper has 36 stories. 1664 01:01:35,909 --> 01:01:36,736 MAXWELL: Right. 1665 01:01:36,780 --> 01:01:40,000 [speaking french] 1666 01:01:40,044 --> 01:01:41,480 LUCILLE: My husband's sleeping. 1667 01:01:41,523 --> 01:01:42,394 He's had too much beer. 1668 01:01:42,437 --> 01:01:43,743 MAXWELL: Right. 1669 01:01:43,787 --> 01:01:44,570 100% perfect. LUCILLE: Hear that, McCabe? 1670 01:01:44,613 --> 01:01:45,963 I talk French. 1671 01:01:46,006 --> 01:01:47,529 OK, only be careful what you say around the kids. 1672 01:01:47,573 --> 01:01:48,487 What's that-- 1673 01:01:48,530 --> 01:01:49,314 LUCILLE: [sigh] Who cares? 1674 01:01:49,357 --> 01:01:50,097 Je suis en Francais. 1675 01:01:50,141 --> 01:01:51,403 MAXWELL: Perfect. 1676 01:01:51,446 --> 01:01:52,186 Get that, McCabe? 1677 01:01:52,230 --> 01:01:53,448 Je suis en Francais. 1678 01:01:53,492 --> 01:01:54,841 Get your Swiss cheese. Leave me alone. 1679 01:01:54,885 --> 01:01:56,147 MAXWELL: I'm now going to demonstrate a very 1680 01:01:56,190 --> 01:01:57,409 famous continental custom. 1681 01:01:57,452 --> 01:01:58,192 Very elegant. 1682 01:01:58,236 --> 01:02:00,281 Watch me. 1683 01:02:00,325 --> 01:02:01,152 [blowing] 1684 01:02:02,457 --> 01:02:04,155 One continental custom coming up. 1685 01:02:04,198 --> 01:02:04,938 [blowing] 1686 01:02:04,982 --> 01:02:05,765 Oh, wrong continent. 1687 01:02:05,809 --> 01:02:06,635 Hey! 1688 01:02:06,679 --> 01:02:08,855 What's going on? 1689 01:02:08,899 --> 01:02:10,030 Oh, look Dan. 1690 01:02:10,074 --> 01:02:10,814 What? 1691 01:02:10,857 --> 01:02:12,554 The Oakland ferry. 1692 01:02:12,598 --> 01:02:13,599 So what? 1693 01:02:13,642 --> 01:02:14,469 Well, don't you remember? 1694 01:02:14,513 --> 01:02:15,557 Yeah, I remember. 1695 01:02:15,601 --> 01:02:16,471 May 10, 1938. 1696 01:02:16,515 --> 01:02:18,082 What happened then? 1697 01:02:18,125 --> 01:02:20,824 We spent our honeymoon on that, riding back and forth 1698 01:02:20,867 --> 01:02:23,827 on the poor man's Atlantic. 1699 01:02:23,870 --> 01:02:25,480 Why don't you go through a few more people, huh? 1700 01:02:25,524 --> 01:02:27,091 Get a megaphone. Broadcast on the radio. 1701 01:02:27,134 --> 01:02:28,875 We were all young once, Dan. 1702 01:02:28,919 --> 01:02:30,311 Oh, was this one ever young. 1703 01:02:30,355 --> 01:02:31,617 Full of beans. 1704 01:02:31,660 --> 01:02:32,966 He was always gonna take me traveling 1705 01:02:33,010 --> 01:02:34,185 to Europe and places-- 1706 01:02:34,228 --> 01:02:35,621 You ain't done so bad. 1707 01:02:35,664 --> 01:02:37,449 Yeah, but I always wanted to see the world. 1708 01:02:37,492 --> 01:02:38,798 The world got to California. Come on. 1709 01:02:38,842 --> 01:02:40,191 Let's go home. 1710 01:02:40,234 --> 01:02:41,540 MAXWELL: No, I'm going to get you another beer. 1711 01:02:41,583 --> 01:02:42,802 Sit down. DAN: No, I don't want anymore. 1712 01:02:42,846 --> 01:02:43,977 Go get it. I'll bring it if he doesn't. 1713 01:02:44,021 --> 01:02:45,152 Do we always have to hang around 1714 01:02:45,196 --> 01:02:46,675 here until the rooster crows? 1715 01:02:46,719 --> 01:02:47,546 We got a home. 1716 01:02:47,589 --> 01:02:49,069 Oh, don't be a big cow. 1717 01:02:49,113 --> 01:02:49,853 OK. 1718 01:02:49,896 --> 01:02:51,115 I'm a big cow. 1719 01:02:51,158 --> 01:02:53,247 But after 3:00 AM, I can't give milk. 1720 01:02:53,291 --> 01:02:54,814 I'm tired! 1721 01:02:54,858 --> 01:02:56,990 That's what you always say just when I'm having fun. 1722 01:02:57,034 --> 01:02:59,210 I get up early and I work for a living. 1723 01:02:59,253 --> 01:03:00,385 So do a billion other people. 1724 01:03:00,428 --> 01:03:01,473 They don't complain. 1725 01:03:01,516 --> 01:03:03,214 They do, but you don't hear them. 1726 01:03:03,257 --> 01:03:05,216 You're too busy running around in committees, learning French, 1727 01:03:05,259 --> 01:03:06,870 buying new dresses. 1728 01:03:06,913 --> 01:03:10,743 I thought that was the kind of wife you wanted, McCabe. 1729 01:03:10,787 --> 01:03:12,136 Oh, you're just in time. 1730 01:03:12,179 --> 01:03:13,485 I was getting thirsty from arguing with him. 1731 01:03:13,528 --> 01:03:14,834 Danny boy, there's one rule in this house. 1732 01:03:14,878 --> 01:03:15,617 No arguing. 1733 01:03:15,661 --> 01:03:16,488 One beer coming up. 1734 01:03:16,531 --> 01:03:17,228 DAN: I ain't thirsty. 1735 01:03:17,271 --> 01:03:18,011 [guilting] 1736 01:03:18,751 --> 01:03:19,491 DAN: OK. 1737 01:03:19,534 --> 01:03:21,188 I'm a sport. 1738 01:03:21,232 --> 01:03:22,233 Here's to you, Max. 1739 01:03:22,276 --> 01:03:23,277 LUCILLE: Let's have fun, Max. 1740 01:03:23,321 --> 01:03:24,278 MAXWELL: Here's to us. 1741 01:03:24,322 --> 01:03:25,497 To fun, frolic, and jollity. 1742 01:03:25,540 --> 01:03:26,977 Mm. 1743 01:03:27,020 --> 01:03:29,022 Honestly, we've had more darned fun this last year, 1744 01:03:29,066 --> 01:03:30,197 haven't we, Dan? 1745 01:03:30,241 --> 01:03:32,156 Thanks to a certain-- 1746 01:03:32,199 --> 01:03:34,114 MAXWELL: Do you remember that I cooked the goose? 1747 01:03:34,158 --> 01:03:35,115 Seal meat. 1748 01:03:35,159 --> 01:03:36,377 And we almost got poisoned. 1749 01:03:36,421 --> 01:03:38,336 LUCILLE: I'll never forgive him that. 1750 01:03:38,379 --> 01:03:39,990 DAN: Remember the Italian restaurant that you-- 1751 01:03:40,033 --> 01:03:41,600 LUCILLE: Yeah, but how about the rubberneck bus? 1752 01:03:41,643 --> 01:03:43,036 The tourists? 1753 01:03:43,080 --> 01:03:44,472 DAN: I gotta thank you, pal. 1754 01:03:44,516 --> 01:03:45,865 You've been a real pal, pal. 1755 01:03:45,909 --> 01:03:46,997 MAXWELL: I've got to thank you. 1756 01:03:47,040 --> 01:03:47,998 DAN: I gotta thank you for teaching 1757 01:03:48,041 --> 01:03:49,086 my wife how to talk French. 1758 01:03:49,129 --> 01:03:50,348 MAXWELL: I gotta thank you-- 1759 01:03:50,391 --> 01:03:53,133 DAN: No, I gotta thank you for teaching 1760 01:03:53,177 --> 01:03:54,743 my wife how to act like a lady. 1761 01:03:54,787 --> 01:03:56,658 MAXWELL: I gotta thank you for being the biggest 1762 01:03:56,702 --> 01:03:58,095 sport that ever drew breath. 1763 01:03:58,138 --> 01:03:59,270 Yes he is, isn't he? 1764 01:03:59,313 --> 01:03:59,966 Oh, Max, honestly, you've been so-- 1765 01:04:01,794 --> 01:04:03,622 DAN [SINGING]: For he's a jolly good fellow, 1766 01:04:03,665 --> 01:04:05,754 for he's a jolly good fellow-- 1767 01:04:05,798 --> 01:04:07,017 [crying] 1768 01:04:07,060 --> 01:04:08,148 LUCILLE: What's the matter, honey? 1769 01:04:08,192 --> 01:04:09,671 He's crying. MAXWELL: Aw. 1770 01:04:09,715 --> 01:04:11,064 LUCILLE: Don't cry, honey. 1771 01:04:11,108 --> 01:04:11,891 MAXWELL: Poor chap. 1772 01:04:11,935 --> 01:04:13,197 LUCILLE: Poor chap. 1773 01:04:13,240 --> 01:04:15,373 [SINGING] Poor chap, poor chap. 1774 01:04:15,416 --> 01:04:18,202 He just couldn't understand. 1775 01:04:18,245 --> 01:04:19,899 Her husband loved his little wife. 1776 01:04:19,943 --> 01:04:22,336 She ran off with a draper. 1777 01:04:22,380 --> 01:04:24,817 She didn't know how far she'd go 1778 01:04:24,861 --> 01:04:26,950 till she read it in the paper. 1779 01:04:26,993 --> 01:04:28,429 Do your step, Max, huh? 1780 01:04:28,473 --> 01:04:30,649 Poor chap, poor chap. 1781 01:04:30,692 --> 01:04:32,346 He just couldn't understand. 1782 01:04:32,390 --> 01:04:35,523 He was left with the paper, the mean, wicked paper. 1783 01:04:35,567 --> 01:04:36,960 He was left with the paper in his hand. 1784 01:04:37,003 --> 01:04:38,265 Woo! 1785 01:04:38,309 --> 01:04:41,051 He was left with the paper in his hand! 1786 01:04:44,619 --> 01:04:47,318 [memory harp] 1787 01:04:51,757 --> 01:04:55,021 Paper in his hand. 1788 01:04:55,065 --> 01:04:56,675 Sucker. 1789 01:04:56,718 --> 01:04:57,937 You remember, all right. 1790 01:04:57,981 --> 01:04:59,330 Well, ain't that great? 1791 01:04:59,373 --> 01:05:03,856 My wife, after all I'd done for you? 1792 01:05:03,900 --> 01:05:05,205 What were you when I met you? 1793 01:05:05,249 --> 01:05:06,946 Selling popcorn for a living. 1794 01:05:06,990 --> 01:05:08,469 And I didn't quit when we were married. 1795 01:05:08,513 --> 01:05:09,949 Remember, Dan? -You didn't have a cent. 1796 01:05:09,993 --> 01:05:10,732 Now look at you. 1797 01:05:10,776 --> 01:05:12,517 Real diamonds. 1798 01:05:12,560 --> 01:05:13,474 French perfume. 1799 01:05:13,518 --> 01:05:14,606 $80 hats. 1800 01:05:14,649 --> 01:05:15,433 What do you do with them? 1801 01:05:15,476 --> 01:05:16,390 Carry dogs in them. 1802 01:05:16,434 --> 01:05:17,435 And do you thank me for it? 1803 01:05:17,478 --> 01:05:18,479 Do you? 1804 01:05:18,523 --> 01:05:20,177 I'd thank you to quit yelling. 1805 01:05:20,220 --> 01:05:22,440 So I'm to be a sucker and not say anything about it, huh? 1806 01:05:22,483 --> 01:05:23,310 Rise above it. 1807 01:05:23,354 --> 01:05:24,921 Be a nice fella, Dan. 1808 01:05:24,964 --> 01:05:28,446 Have you heard what they're saying about Dan McCabe? 1809 01:05:28,489 --> 01:05:29,969 A letter like this. 1810 01:05:30,013 --> 01:05:31,928 Most wives would take a thing like this seriously. 1811 01:05:31,971 --> 01:05:33,103 So would most husbands. 1812 01:05:33,146 --> 01:05:33,973 I do. 1813 01:05:34,017 --> 01:05:34,800 I do. 1814 01:05:34,843 --> 01:05:36,367 What do you think? 1815 01:05:36,410 --> 01:05:38,760 LUCILLE: [speaking french] Please. 1816 01:05:38,804 --> 01:05:39,979 The neighbors. 1817 01:05:40,023 --> 01:05:41,720 Shut up, you. 1818 01:05:41,763 --> 01:05:44,027 I'm still the man in this house, and you'll be the wife the way 1819 01:05:44,070 --> 01:05:46,507 I see it, or else you'll get out. 1820 01:05:46,551 --> 01:05:48,857 Do I hear correctly? 1821 01:05:48,901 --> 01:05:50,555 You sure do. 1822 01:05:50,598 --> 01:05:52,470 There are some things no man will stand for. 1823 01:05:52,513 --> 01:05:53,862 Not if he's a man. 1824 01:05:53,906 --> 01:05:55,864 Some things no woman will stand for, either. 1825 01:05:55,908 --> 01:05:58,084 Maybe you forget this is my home, too. 1826 01:05:58,128 --> 01:05:59,607 It is, huh? 1827 01:05:59,651 --> 01:06:02,871 Yeah, and I'll fight for it to the last toothpick. 1828 01:06:02,915 --> 01:06:03,785 OK. 1829 01:06:03,829 --> 01:06:06,092 So it's a fight. 1830 01:06:06,136 --> 01:06:08,051 You'll see. 1831 01:06:08,094 --> 01:06:10,009 Luck will pay for his hand, huh? 1832 01:06:10,053 --> 01:06:11,445 Not Dan McCabe. 1833 01:06:11,489 --> 01:06:14,492 Hey, where you going, stupid? 1834 01:06:14,535 --> 01:06:15,884 To see a smart lawyer. 1835 01:06:21,194 --> 01:06:24,023 You can say now. 1836 01:06:24,067 --> 01:06:24,850 Good morning. 1837 01:06:24,893 --> 01:06:26,025 I'm Mrs. Evans. 1838 01:06:26,069 --> 01:06:27,331 I received a telegram. 1839 01:06:27,374 --> 01:06:28,462 Oh, yes, Mrs. Evans. 1840 01:06:28,506 --> 01:06:30,638 Isn't Mr. Evans with you? 1841 01:06:30,682 --> 01:06:32,597 He'll be along later, I hope. 1842 01:06:32,640 --> 01:06:34,773 The telegram specifically asked for both of you. 1843 01:06:34,816 --> 01:06:36,079 Mr. Wurdeman will be upset. 1844 01:06:36,122 --> 01:06:36,818 Aren't we all? 1845 01:06:39,865 --> 01:06:40,605 Jane. 1846 01:06:40,648 --> 01:06:41,693 Good morning, Mary. 1847 01:06:41,736 --> 01:06:42,737 MARY: What are you-- 1848 01:06:42,781 --> 01:06:43,825 MS. REYNOLDS: Mrs. Whittaker? 1849 01:06:43,869 --> 01:06:45,218 Yes? 1850 01:06:45,262 --> 01:06:46,219 MS. REYNOLDS: I'm glad we finally reached you. 1851 01:06:46,263 --> 01:06:46,915 We couldn't get you at home. 1852 01:06:46,959 --> 01:06:48,091 I wasn't there. 1853 01:06:48,134 --> 01:06:49,048 MS. REYNOLDS: Is your husband coming? 1854 01:06:49,092 --> 01:06:50,397 Did you tell his mother? 1855 01:06:50,441 --> 01:06:51,268 MS. REYNOLDS: Oh, yes. 1856 01:06:51,311 --> 01:06:53,748 He's coming. 1857 01:06:53,792 --> 01:06:55,446 LUCILLE: Well, good morning, all. 1858 01:06:55,489 --> 01:06:56,795 MARY: Lucille. 1859 01:06:56,838 --> 01:06:57,752 MS. REYNOLDS: Good morning, Mrs. McCabe. 1860 01:06:57,796 --> 01:06:58,579 Morning. 1861 01:06:58,623 --> 01:06:59,798 Where's Mr. McCabe? 1862 01:06:59,841 --> 01:07:00,712 I thought you might know. 1863 01:07:00,755 --> 01:07:02,061 I don't. 1864 01:07:02,105 --> 01:07:03,541 Well, at least you ladies are here on time. 1865 01:07:03,584 --> 01:07:05,630 Mr. Wurdeman's promptness is one of his standards. 1866 01:07:05,673 --> 01:07:06,674 He'll be a few minutes late. 1867 01:07:06,718 --> 01:07:07,632 Will you step this way, please? 1868 01:07:15,422 --> 01:07:16,641 A committee meeting, huh? 1869 01:07:16,684 --> 01:07:18,338 I wonder what's cooking. 1870 01:07:18,382 --> 01:07:21,124 I don't know, but apparently our husbands are expected, too. 1871 01:07:21,167 --> 01:07:22,386 Oh, now no kidding, Lucille. 1872 01:07:22,429 --> 01:07:23,865 Don't you know where Dan is? 1873 01:07:23,909 --> 01:07:25,911 I thought I was sent for to talk over the case 1874 01:07:25,954 --> 01:07:27,521 of McCabe versus McCabe. 1875 01:07:27,565 --> 01:07:28,305 JANE: What? 1876 01:07:28,348 --> 01:07:29,610 MARY: A divorce? 1877 01:07:29,654 --> 01:07:30,829 You, too? 1878 01:07:30,872 --> 01:07:32,700 JANE: Both of you? 1879 01:07:32,744 --> 01:07:34,441 So suddenly? 1880 01:07:34,485 --> 01:07:37,009 Last night, about 10 o'clock, that big ape calls the butler 1881 01:07:37,053 --> 01:07:39,098 and says to pack his things-- not just 1882 01:07:39,142 --> 01:07:41,361 his pajamas and toothbrush; all his things-- 1883 01:07:41,405 --> 01:07:42,667 and bring them someplace. 1884 01:07:42,710 --> 01:07:44,495 Well didn't you ask the butler where? 1885 01:07:44,538 --> 01:07:47,933 I got pride, but I wish I'd had him followed. 1886 01:07:47,976 --> 01:07:49,804 Then this morning I get Wurdeman's wire 1887 01:07:49,848 --> 01:07:51,328 I should be here. 1888 01:07:51,371 --> 01:07:53,112 You having trouble, too? 1889 01:07:53,156 --> 01:07:54,809 I left him. 1890 01:07:54,853 --> 01:07:56,811 It just couldn't be a coincidence. 1891 01:07:56,855 --> 01:07:58,204 No, it certainly wasn't. 1892 01:07:58,248 --> 01:08:00,076 We've been in training for it a long time now. 1893 01:08:00,119 --> 01:08:01,033 No, no. 1894 01:08:01,077 --> 01:08:03,253 I mean all three of them. 1895 01:08:03,296 --> 01:08:04,993 Not Arthur, too? 1896 01:08:05,037 --> 01:08:06,256 Arthur, too. 1897 01:08:06,299 --> 01:08:08,388 At least you know where he is. 1898 01:08:08,432 --> 01:08:12,000 I certainly do-- snoring on the living room couch. 1899 01:08:12,044 --> 01:08:14,133 He didn't come in till 4:00 AM this morning. 1900 01:08:14,177 --> 01:08:16,048 After making the most incredible accusations, 1901 01:08:16,092 --> 01:08:18,137 he dashed out of the house and I-- 1902 01:08:18,181 --> 01:08:20,531 I found him asleep on the couch this morning. 1903 01:08:20,574 --> 01:08:24,230 I left the telegram on his chest like a lily. 1904 01:08:24,274 --> 01:08:26,232 Gee, I wonder what's got into them all. 1905 01:08:26,276 --> 01:08:29,366 I don't know what's eating your boys, but Dan got a letter. 1906 01:08:29,409 --> 01:08:30,236 A letter? 1907 01:08:30,280 --> 01:08:31,542 Wurdeman gave it to him. 1908 01:08:31,585 --> 01:08:32,978 MARY: Kenneth saw Wurdeman yesterday-- 1909 01:08:33,021 --> 01:08:34,110 JANE: But Arthur was here the-- 1910 01:08:34,153 --> 01:08:35,241 MARY: --too. 1911 01:08:35,285 --> 01:08:36,677 Do you know what was in the letter? 1912 01:08:36,721 --> 01:08:38,897 Oh, nothing much. 1913 01:08:38,940 --> 01:08:41,682 Your boys couldn't have got the same news. 1914 01:08:41,726 --> 01:08:45,512 It was about me an Max. 1915 01:08:45,556 --> 01:08:46,513 Max and you? 1916 01:08:46,557 --> 01:08:48,385 You and Max? 1917 01:08:48,428 --> 01:08:49,342 In love? 1918 01:08:49,386 --> 01:08:50,387 Yeah. 1919 01:08:50,430 --> 01:08:51,692 What's so impossible about that? 1920 01:08:51,736 --> 01:08:52,650 JANE: Oh, Lucille. 1921 01:08:52,693 --> 01:08:55,479 You and my husband both. 1922 01:08:55,522 --> 01:08:58,134 That's what Arthur was so upset about. 1923 01:08:58,177 --> 01:08:59,787 LUCILLE: Arthur suspected you? 1924 01:08:59,831 --> 01:09:01,180 [laughs] 1925 01:09:01,224 --> 01:09:02,573 And why not? 1926 01:09:02,616 --> 01:09:04,488 LUCILLE: The symphony concert. 1927 01:09:04,531 --> 01:09:06,838 Well, of course you would feel that way about it, 1928 01:09:06,881 --> 01:09:08,187 but afterwards-- 1929 01:09:08,231 --> 01:09:09,145 LUCILLE: You had tea together, I suppose. 1930 01:09:09,188 --> 01:09:10,450 JANE: We had tea together. 1931 01:09:10,494 --> 01:09:12,887 I-- we certainly did, but at his house. 1932 01:09:12,931 --> 01:09:16,282 It was always his man's day off. 1933 01:09:16,326 --> 01:09:18,632 You're both bragging. 1934 01:09:18,676 --> 01:09:19,807 How would you know? 1935 01:09:19,851 --> 01:09:21,331 LUCILLE: Yeah, a kid like you. 1936 01:09:21,374 --> 01:09:24,421 Well, I took care of him through four heart attacks. 1937 01:09:24,464 --> 01:09:27,032 I was with him day and, uh, night. 1938 01:09:27,075 --> 01:09:29,948 When a man's as sick as that, he's not interested in women. 1939 01:09:29,991 --> 01:09:31,863 He always kept me on through convalescence. 1940 01:09:36,346 --> 01:09:38,304 That Max. 1941 01:09:38,348 --> 01:09:39,305 Good morning. 1942 01:09:39,349 --> 01:09:40,176 Good morning, girls. 1943 01:09:40,219 --> 01:09:41,786 GIRLS: Hi, Edward. 1944 01:09:41,829 --> 01:09:44,049 I'm sorry to be late, but I was delayed in conference. 1945 01:09:44,092 --> 01:09:47,226 A, uh, divorce case. 1946 01:09:47,270 --> 01:09:48,227 I believe the others are here. 1947 01:09:48,271 --> 01:09:49,663 Won't you come into the library? 1948 01:10:16,995 --> 01:10:19,693 EDWARD: And the bequests for the aforementioned organizations 1949 01:10:19,737 --> 01:10:21,434 and institutions, to be distributed 1950 01:10:21,478 --> 01:10:24,437 in the matter provided for in paragraph 12 of this last will 1951 01:10:24,481 --> 01:10:26,657 and testament. 1952 01:10:26,700 --> 01:10:31,227 I think you'll find that what follows will interest you more. 1953 01:10:31,270 --> 01:10:33,751 To Matilda Clegg, for the development 1954 01:10:33,794 --> 01:10:37,276 of her unique talents, tuition for two years 1955 01:10:37,320 --> 01:10:40,279 and living expenses, provided the beneficiary studies 1956 01:10:40,323 --> 01:10:42,586 and takes up residence in Paris, France. 1957 01:10:45,502 --> 01:10:49,636 And to my cousin, Jenny Bard Whittaker, our grandfather's 1958 01:10:49,680 --> 01:10:52,509 house and poverty in Columbus, Ohio, providing she 1959 01:10:52,552 --> 01:10:55,076 takes up immediate residence there. 1960 01:10:55,120 --> 01:10:56,730 The will contains only two more clauses. 1961 01:10:56,774 --> 01:10:58,341 I'll read the first clause first. 1962 01:10:58,384 --> 01:10:59,080 Naturally. 1963 01:11:01,779 --> 01:11:04,564 The remainder of my estate is to be divided equally 1964 01:11:04,608 --> 01:11:08,481 among my dearly beloved friends Jane Evans, Mary 1965 01:11:08,525 --> 01:11:11,049 Whittaker, and Lucille McCabe. 1966 01:11:14,095 --> 01:11:15,532 That man! 1967 01:11:15,575 --> 01:11:16,446 It's not right! 1968 01:11:16,489 --> 01:11:17,664 They were nothing to him. 1969 01:11:17,708 --> 01:11:18,622 We're the next of kin. 1970 01:11:18,665 --> 01:11:20,058 It's his will, mother. 1971 01:11:20,101 --> 01:11:22,060 Ooh, you ought to be angry. 1972 01:11:22,103 --> 01:11:23,801 You were cheated. 1973 01:11:23,844 --> 01:11:26,107 Columbus, Ohio. 1974 01:11:26,151 --> 01:11:28,588 If he thinks I intend to return-- 1975 01:11:28,632 --> 01:11:31,112 we are going to fight this to the end, son. 1976 01:11:31,156 --> 01:11:32,462 Don't worry. 1977 01:11:32,505 --> 01:11:34,028 I won't take the money. 1978 01:11:34,072 --> 01:11:35,378 Don't be crazy, Mary. 1979 01:11:35,421 --> 01:11:36,683 Max meant you to have it. 1980 01:11:36,727 --> 01:11:38,119 I'm rich! 1981 01:11:38,163 --> 01:11:40,078 Me, McCabe. 1982 01:11:40,121 --> 01:11:41,514 Please, please. 1983 01:11:41,558 --> 01:11:44,082 Now, if you'll allow me, I'll continue. 1984 01:11:44,125 --> 01:11:47,128 In making these requests, I'm expressing my belief that women 1985 01:11:47,172 --> 01:11:53,309 are better wives if they are not dependent on the peccadilloes, 1986 01:11:53,352 --> 01:12:03,014 the weaknesses, the whims and pretensions of their husbands. 1987 01:12:03,057 --> 01:12:05,538 There are no provisions or restrictions attached 1988 01:12:05,582 --> 01:12:07,410 to these bequests, but legacies may 1989 01:12:07,453 --> 01:12:10,413 be used as the beneficiaries see fit, either to enhance 1990 01:12:10,456 --> 01:12:12,502 their marriages, or to make themselves 1991 01:12:12,545 --> 01:12:15,592 independent of financial restraint. 1992 01:12:15,635 --> 01:12:19,422 To my friends, Arthur Evans, Kenneth Whittaker, and Daniel 1993 01:12:19,465 --> 01:12:22,425 J. McCabe, I solemnly bequeath the good news 1994 01:12:22,468 --> 01:12:24,818 that the confidential letters delivered to them yesterday 1995 01:12:24,862 --> 01:12:27,734 were written for the express purpose of causing grief 1996 01:12:27,778 --> 01:12:30,781 and disturbance so that they reconsider the charms 1997 01:12:30,824 --> 01:12:32,870 and virtues of their respective wives 1998 01:12:32,913 --> 01:12:36,395 better to appreciate them, and the additional information of 1999 01:12:36,439 --> 01:12:39,311 said letters, being intentional fabrications, 2000 01:12:39,355 --> 01:12:42,053 are false, deceitful, and untrue. 2001 01:12:45,230 --> 01:12:46,492 That's all. Thank you. 2002 01:12:46,536 --> 01:12:48,233 MRS. WHITTAKER: Do you think it was all? 2003 01:12:48,276 --> 01:12:49,713 It's the most ridiculous will I've ever heard in my life. 2004 01:12:49,756 --> 01:12:51,671 It's not going to be the end, I assure you. 2005 01:12:51,715 --> 01:12:53,107 I assure you. 2006 01:12:56,633 --> 01:12:57,851 I wanna talk to you, Ed. 2007 01:12:57,895 --> 01:12:58,809 Oh, I'm sorry. 2008 01:12:58,852 --> 01:12:59,984 My wife's waiting for me. 2009 01:13:00,027 --> 01:13:01,420 I only wanna ask you one question. 2010 01:13:01,464 --> 01:13:02,900 That divorce complaint you talked about before. 2011 01:13:02,943 --> 01:13:04,075 Is it Dan McCabe? 2012 01:13:04,118 --> 01:13:05,555 No, your husband is not my client. 2013 01:13:05,598 --> 01:13:07,861 Then I am. 2014 01:13:07,905 --> 01:13:09,689 ARTHUR: Jane! 2015 01:13:09,733 --> 01:13:10,647 Oh, Arthur. 2016 01:13:10,690 --> 01:13:11,474 I'm so glad I caught you. 2017 01:13:11,517 --> 01:13:12,649 I must talk to you. 2018 01:13:12,692 --> 01:13:13,824 Couldn't we talk about this later? 2019 01:13:13,867 --> 01:13:14,868 What I am about to say will affect 2020 01:13:14,912 --> 01:13:17,131 the course of our entire lives. 2021 01:13:17,175 --> 01:13:18,524 Mary, I've gotta talk to you. 2022 01:13:18,568 --> 01:13:19,960 Oh, let me go. 2023 01:13:20,004 --> 01:13:21,658 You don't have to act like an heiress so soon. 2024 01:13:21,701 --> 01:13:24,051 I don't want the money. 2025 01:13:24,095 --> 01:13:25,226 Then at least you can listen to me. 2026 01:13:29,492 --> 01:13:30,797 Hey. 2027 01:13:30,841 --> 01:13:31,711 What's the idea of changing the lock on me? 2028 01:13:31,755 --> 01:13:33,017 I couldn't get in. 2029 01:13:33,060 --> 01:13:34,061 That your idea of a gag or something? 2030 01:13:34,105 --> 01:13:35,628 I didn't want you in my house. 2031 01:13:35,672 --> 01:13:37,151 -Your house, huh? -OK. 2032 01:13:37,195 --> 01:13:38,501 Get technical. 2033 01:13:38,544 --> 01:13:39,458 I suppose that's the advice of your lawyer. 2034 01:13:39,502 --> 01:13:41,025 I'm filing a counter-suit. 2035 01:13:41,068 --> 01:13:42,853 I'm the one that's got the grounds! 2036 01:13:42,896 --> 01:13:44,115 Not so loud, McCabe. 2037 01:13:44,158 --> 01:13:46,160 What will people think? 2038 01:13:46,204 --> 01:13:47,858 Let me tell you what I think. 2039 01:13:47,901 --> 01:13:50,251 So now I hope you'll understand why I've arrived 2040 01:13:50,295 --> 01:13:52,384 at this tragic decision. 2041 01:13:52,428 --> 01:13:55,605 I couldn't come between a man and his children and his wife. 2042 01:13:55,648 --> 01:13:56,780 No. 2043 01:13:56,823 --> 01:13:58,390 Time will heal our wounds, dear. 2044 01:13:58,434 --> 01:14:00,697 If that's the way you want it, Matilda. 2045 01:14:00,740 --> 01:14:02,350 We must face it bravely. 2046 01:14:02,394 --> 01:14:03,351 This is good bye. 2047 01:14:03,395 --> 01:14:04,222 Good bye, Matilda. 2048 01:14:10,968 --> 01:14:11,882 Arthur. 2049 01:14:11,925 --> 01:14:13,623 Jane. 2050 01:14:13,666 --> 01:14:15,320 Now that the economic barrier is removed, I feel it only fair 2051 01:14:15,363 --> 01:14:16,452 that you should have your freedom. 2052 01:14:16,495 --> 01:14:18,105 I'll see my lawyer in the morning. 2053 01:14:18,149 --> 01:14:19,716 If that's the way you want it, Jane. 2054 01:14:22,675 --> 01:14:26,244 There's just one thing I'd like cleared up before I go ahead. 2055 01:14:26,287 --> 01:14:28,202 You believed that letter of Max's, didn't you? 2056 01:14:28,246 --> 01:14:29,247 No, not for a minute. 2057 01:14:29,290 --> 01:14:30,117 Don't lie. 2058 01:14:30,161 --> 01:14:30,814 You called me a Jezebel. 2059 01:14:30,857 --> 01:14:31,597 Why? 2060 01:14:31,641 --> 01:14:32,468 All right, I did. 2061 01:14:32,511 --> 01:14:33,294 I believed it. 2062 01:14:33,338 --> 01:14:34,774 I was jealous. 2063 01:14:34,818 --> 01:14:36,123 You were? 2064 01:14:36,167 --> 01:14:37,168 Oh, thank you, darling. 2065 01:14:37,211 --> 01:14:37,908 That's wonderful. 2066 01:14:48,353 --> 01:14:50,921 Oh, darling. 2067 01:14:50,964 --> 01:14:53,532 you don't have to be jealous of any men-- before we met, 2068 01:14:53,576 --> 01:14:56,230 or since we're married, or-- or ever. 2069 01:15:02,759 --> 01:15:04,021 I have nothing further-- 2070 01:15:04,064 --> 01:15:05,544 Didn't you tell me the letter was true? 2071 01:15:05,588 --> 01:15:06,893 You confessed it of your own free will, didn't you? 2072 01:15:06,937 --> 01:15:07,981 Well, didn't you? 2073 01:15:08,025 --> 01:15:09,330 You must be slipping, McCabe. 2074 01:15:09,374 --> 01:15:11,158 I thought you could spot a gag a mile off? 2075 01:15:11,202 --> 01:15:12,551 But it was a gag. 2076 01:15:12,595 --> 01:15:13,770 You and him made it up just to fool me, huh? 2077 01:15:13,813 --> 01:15:15,598 [speaking french] 2078 01:15:15,641 --> 01:15:16,773 -What's that? -French. 2079 01:15:16,816 --> 01:15:17,948 What's it mean? 2080 01:15:17,991 --> 01:15:18,818 You'll have to wait and ask Max. 2081 01:15:18,862 --> 01:15:19,558 Ahh-- 2082 01:15:26,217 --> 01:15:28,349 If I were a lawyer I'd get rid of my clients 2083 01:15:28,393 --> 01:15:30,395 rather than keep my wife waiting. 2084 01:15:30,438 --> 01:15:31,309 Here, take these. 2085 01:15:31,352 --> 01:15:32,179 Yes, dear. 2086 01:15:32,223 --> 01:15:33,572 Wait a minute. 2087 01:15:33,616 --> 01:15:35,966 I want you to tell me something truthfully. 2088 01:15:36,009 --> 01:15:37,445 How well did you know Max? 2089 01:15:41,841 --> 01:15:42,538 Eighth floor. 2090 01:15:55,551 --> 01:15:59,337 [laughter] 2091 01:16:01,818 --> 01:16:05,082 [music playing]